


The Retreat

by dreamingspires



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mistaken Identity, Rock Stars, Size Kink, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29090739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingspires/pseuds/dreamingspires
Summary: School teacher Rey is staying with her godmother Maz in Barbados at The Retreat to recover after the year from hell.There she meets Kylo, burnt out musician from one of the most famous bands on the planet, sent after a near breakdown.But because TheRetreat serves the rich and famous, and promises strict confidentiality, they're both completely mistaken about who the other one is.  He thinks she's an amoral influencer trying to get famous fast, and she thinks he's an asshole accountant with an attitude problem.Mistaken identities, enemies to lovers, slow burn romance and smut follow.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 56
Kudos: 232





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hope you enjoy this new fic. It's complete so updates every 3-5 days. 
> 
> Please note there are brief references to Rey's mother dying of an illness, mostly in the first few chapters.
> 
> Kylo/Ben begins as a total jerk, but doesn't stay that way once he's met Rey.

Rey realised her luggage had gone missing after waiting for more than an hour in the small airport in Bridgetown. Somehow it didn't come as a surprise, but instead was another data point that there was nothing she could do about the terrible year she was having. 

However hard she tried, her life just sucked at the moment.

She filed the forms for her lost suitcases, with no expectation that they would ever be found, and made her way through immigration and customs, until she was standing outside the taxi rank, the hot, humid air hitting her like a wall and instantly making her t-shirt damp.

To her relief, she spotted the handwritten sign saying 'MISS JOHNSON' almost immediately, held by a friendly looking man standing next to a brightly painted red and blue car bearing the name 'The Retreat' in handwritten lettering on the door. When Rey walked up, he instantly enveloped her in a warm hug.

"Welcome to Barbados!" he said, grinning at her with a wide-open smile, "I'm B.B." He looked around for her luggage before shrugging his shoulders and helping her into the car.

They drove off into the heat of the afternoon, and BB turned out to be an excellent tour guide, explaining all the sites as they made their slow way from the airport, through Bridgetown and then up the west side of the island.

"Maz's place is up near the north end, we'll be there in twenty minutes," he added, and Rey felt herself relaxing as they wended their way along the beautiful coastline, catching glimpses of the blue ocean between the frequent hotels.

She'd never been to the island before, had only heard about it from Maz and seen photos that she occasionally posted on social media.

Maz was her mother's best friend from nursing school and had become Rey's godmother when she was born. She'd helped raise Rey after her dad had left, until she'd eventually returned back to Barbados when Rey was eleven.

She and her mother had always planned on visiting Maz, but with her mother's salary it had always remained a distant dream. And then Rey's mother had died last year after a long battle with cancer, and it became a dream that they would never realise together.

Eventually BB announced they had arrived, and they turned off the main road down a dirt track, past a discrete sign saying 'Maz's Retreat', driving through some lush gardens, with baobab and palm trees lining the route. A white house came into view, with a large front porch book-ended with tall pillars, and there standing on the steps was her godmother Maz, her face transfixed with a huge smile.

Rey had barely stepped out of the car when she was enveloped in a tight hug.

"So good to see you my child," Maz's voice was warm with emotion, "It's been too long. I've missed you."

She held her for a while longer and Rey let herself relax into the woman's familiar arms. They hadn't seen each other since Maz had decided to return to the island of her birth, but she hadn't changed in all those years. The kind and clever face, the wiry strength, the fierce love she'd always shown was just as she remembered. It felt wonderful to be held, something she hadn't realised she needed until that moment. Her tears came next, unexpectedly, and she pulled back from the hug to compose herself.

"I miss her too,' Maz said, immediately getting to the heart of Rey's pain, "but your mother lived her life to the fullest and she'd want you to do the same. Why don't you go to your room, BB will show you, and then meet me in the kitchen for a cup of tea and we can chat. I can't wait to hear your news."

"That sounds wonderful." Rey agreed, "and do you have any spare clothes I could borrow for a little while? My luggage went missing and..."

Maz nodded her head and gave her another hug in commiseration and then pulled back. 

She was grimacing at Rey's grey hoodie and black leggings as if they needed to be burnt, 

"Perhaps that's for the best anyway, you're on island time now, and your dreary British clothes won't do. I'll send over some things while you shower."

...............................................................

Her room was perfect - enough space for a huge bed, a pair of lounge chairs covering in wild

tropical prints, a bamboo table, and then a large bathroom, tiled in plain white. There was a small balcony overlooking the gardens, and she could make out another flat below hers which had a huge hot tub on its deck.

Rey showered, letting the hot water wash away all the aches and pains of sitting on a plane in Economy for fourteen hours, and when she went back to her room, she found that someone had left a little pile of clothes and a few toiletries on her bed.

Rummaging through the collection, she laughed out loud, a combination of amusement and horror. This must be some old clothes belonging to Maz - each one a more vibrant floral print of reds, pinks, purples, blues - she was definitely going to stand out wearing this selection. At the bottom she found a pile of tiny bikinis, a small bag of white cotton panties, but no bra. It would have to do.

She chose the least garish dress from the pile and grabbing the hairdryer from the drawer, she quickly dried her hair, and was ready to face the world.

It was only a five minute walk through the gardens back to the main house, and Rey enjoyed feeling the setting sun on her face as she navigated past the blooming hibiscus and wild ferns. She arrived at the house again easily enough, the Retreat wasn't that large, and found Maz in the kitchen, pot of tea in front of her.

"Perfect timing, just before the dinner rush." Maz motioned for her to take a seat at the large wooden table that made up the majority of the room, "Dinner is served at seven so it'll start getting busy in here very soon."

As she sat down, her godmother gave her the once over, eyes flitting over the dress.

"That suits you - brings some colour to your face. But you look exhausted child, like you haven't had a good nights sleep, or a decent meal, in months. We're going to fix that I promise." Her eyes were kind as she poured her a cup of tea.

"But first I need to go through the rules of our program. There's not much - most important is that everyone here has a right to privacy, and we don't talk about our lives outside of The Retreat. No drugs, no alcohol, no social media, and if you want to go off-site, you need to sign out at the reception. That's it. Any questions?"

"Am I ok to use my real name? No one knows who I am here."

Maz pondered it for a second before agreeing. "But no last name please - I want to respect the rules.'

It was as she expected - the Retreat was known for helping people get their lives back together, and they never disclosed who was staying here. It was free from the paparazzi because of the secluded location, so it frequently catered to the famous as well as not famous people like Rey.

"I want to be able to help though - I don't expect you to put me up and feed me for nothing, so I'm hoping you can find me jobs to do."

Maz shook her head.

"You're here to get better. You've had a terrible time, after the death of your mum, and you look like you'd fall over in the wind. I just want you to concentrate on yourself. I imagine you don't get much time to do that Rey."

They argued back and forth good naturedly for a few minutes, Rey insisting that she wanted, no needed to be of use, and finally Maz gave in.

"Fine. You win. We're a bit short handed in the morning, so you can go with BB to the market, pick up the fresh fruit and milk, and make breakfast. Does that satisfy you?"

It did. Rey had a chronic need to work, to be useful and pay her way, and she was already feeling that Maz had done far too much, buying her a plane ticket, and letting her stay at the Retreat free of charge, however much she needed the break. It been a terrible year, climbing out of a dark hole after her mother's death eighteen months ago, and trying to get to grips with her job as a secondary school teacher. Most days she felt like she was putting on an act for her students; underneath the friendly smile, it was a struggle.

Things had been better recently, and the invitation from Maz had come at the perfect time. Any earlier, she wouldn't have had the energy to put towards her recovery, but now, she was desperate to feel alive again, to look after herself and put her life back together over the next ten days.

They chatted for a few more minutes until Rey couldn't stop yawning, the transatlantic jet lag catching up with her. She refused dinner, and made her way back to her room, climbing into bed and falling immediately into a blissful sleep.

...........................................

Despite waking up at four am, Rey felt remarkably refreshed the next morning. She met BB at five thirty, climbing into a small van, and joining him for the quick trip back to Bridgetown to pick up a fresh set of supplies from the early market. He had it down to a fine art, and it barely took half an hour to go around the various suppliers and pick up some trays of fresh fruit and a few other essentials for breakfast. He explained as they went that the chef arrived mid morning, so this was just enough to feed the early risers who wanted to eat before lunch.

Rey thought of asking him to make a quick detour to try and look for some clothes - but it was clear that shops in Barbados didn't open until later, if the shuttered windows were any indication.

When they returned to The Retreat, she helped BB carry the food into the kitchen, and was immediately put to work peeling and chopping while BB pulled out trays and plates for serving. By seven am they were done, a large spread of fruit, smoothies, yogurt and freshly brewed coffee waiting to be eaten.

Maz wandered into the kitchen, dressed in a robe, and kissed Rey on the cheek.

"Right child. Off duty, now you're a guest. There's a yoga class later, and it's going to be a beautiful day, so you might want to spend some time by the pool. Books in the library if you need one." and she grabbed a mug of coffee, checked the breakfast spread, and left.

.......................................

Rey wasn't in the mood for yoga, so instead she went for a long walk, exploring the grounds and gardens, wandering between the guest cottages and out to find the workout studio, that BB had shared overlooked the sea. She followed the small signs until she found it, a separate building facing out to the ocean. It was empty, and Rey took a quick look inside - the standard range of workout equipment, running machines and free weights lining the walls - made special by the incredible view out to the Caribbean sea. She made a mental note to see if Maz had lent her anything she could workout in - she loved running - it was one of the only things she did for herself through some of the dark times in her life.

She followed the paths along until she hit the busy main road, and could see the other hotels and public beach in the distance. It was warming up now, and she was overheating in her leggings and sweatshirt, so she reluctantly returned to her room to change.

When she revisited the pile of clothes from Maz, she had to smile. All of the dresses were made for her godmother's five foot nothing frame, and most would barely cover her arse. She pulled a few from the pile, holding them up against her, before choosing a bright red one with a green parrot appliqued on the front, and pulled it over her head. It did indeed barely cover her, reaching just to her mid thigh. Her bra was still drying in the bathroom where she'd washed it by hand, but fortunately the dress had a ruched top with little straps, so no underwear didn't seem to matter - her small boobs didn't really need much support anyway.

She needed a bikini for the pool so pulled the first one she could find from the bag. It was black and white with tiny triangles and string ties and nothing like her trusty navy one piece she'd packed to do lengths.

All hopes of fading into the background were banishing - glancing in the mirror her hair was a mess, frizzy from the Caribbean humidity and curling round her head like a halo, and the vibrant too-short dress made her look like a reject from a bad nineties pop video. Still, Maz had been incredibly kind finding her something to wear, and she was sure none of the other guest would even care what Rey Johnson from Hackney was wearing to sit in her lounger.

Grabbing a towel from the bathroom, she shoved the bikini into her rucksack and made her way down to the pool which was only about a hundred yards from the main house. She presumed it would be empty given that it was barely ten am, so her heart sank when she saw that there were already a few people sitting next to the water.

She pulled her sunglasses up to cover her eyes and hide the fact that she was giving everyone a careful once over as she walked past them towards the shade at the back.

In the first lounger there was a tall, skinny, pale, red-haired man, angrily flicking through this phone, muttering under his breath as he did. He barely looked up as she walked past.

A bit further along a set of three chaise lounges had been pulled together to form a large private space, and on top of them, reclining on a gold towel, was the unmistakable face and body of Phasma Jordon. The six foot actress and director was instantly recognisable even to Rey who had barely paid any attention to news or social media for the last few years. She was wearing a silver swimsuit, with metal details on the straps, her platinum hair slicked back, and large black glasses covering her eyes.

She did glance up as Rey walked past, nodding a little in acknowledgement, before returning her gaze to the pile of papers she held in her hands.

There was another man on the other side of the lawn, older of medium build, with glowing skin and a friendly expression, who said 'Hello' as she scurried past. She couldn't place him immediately, but he certainly seemed familiar.

Finally she found a set of spare loungers, the last two by the pool given that Phasma had taken most of the empty ones, and she carefully laid out her towel and a book she grabbed from the library. It was shaded under the trees, and out of the way: the perfect hiding spot.

Rey opened her book, turning to the first page, and began to read, letting herself get lost in the pages of the novel as the sun's heat intensified. She stopped after a little while to put on some sun-cream, and eventually went into the loo to change into the bikini as the warmth became unbearable, and the cool water looked like the only respite.

Walking back to the pool, she tried to not feel self-conscious in the stupid, tiny triangles of barely-there material that covered nothing at all. She almost put her dress back on, but realised that no one was looking at her - everyone was absorbed in their own business and hardly gave her a glance.

After another hour of relaxation, Mary came round, offering cold drinks and snacks, and Rey gratefully accepted a large glass of mint and lemon soda. She was sipping her drink happily, and starting another chapter of the book, when a dark voice said.

"Does your phone need its own lounger?"

Rey looked over, confused - her phone was indeed sitting on the chair next to her where she'd left it.

"Umm... no... "

She looked up from her book to see the owner of the voice, and looming over her was the huge figure of a man, dressed in shorts and a greying black t shirt, most of his face covered by wrap around sunglasses, with dishevel black hair and pale skin.

Her mind went blank for a moment - he was so tall, and intimidating, that she wasn't sure what to say or do.

"Can you move it then, or shall I?" his voice was annoyed, with a croak in it as if he hadn't spoken for days. He gestured towards the lounger sharply, "Unless you can't bear to be apart for even a minute."

That was just rude, and it shocked Rey out of her frozen state.

She reached over, grabbed the phone, and muttered 'wanker' under her breath before looking away from the stranger and giving the book all of her focus.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see him pulling his shirt over his head, and she resolutely ignored her desire to take a quick peek at what was revealed. Her mother had always said to give rude men zero percent of her attention, and it was a rule that had served her well.

He flopped down on the lounger next to her, letting out a little groan as he did so, and lay like the dead.

The sun was high in the sky by the time Rey had finished another few chapters. She slathered on more sunblock, careful to look after her freckled skin, and took a quick look at the sleeping figure next to her.

The asshole was turning a glorious shade of lobster pink in the hot Caribbean sun, but he was sleeping so soundly he hadn't noticed. Rey wrestled with her conscience, torn between wanting to wake him up to tell him, or let him get even redder as punishment for his earlier rudeness.

She read another chapter, took a few more sips of her drink and then she let herself take another quick glance at the stranger. He was an incredible looking man, built like a triathlete, but under the pinking skin she could see the familiar pallor of exhaustion - a state she was all too familiar with. A little spark of pity ignited in her chest and she decided to wake him and offer her sunscreen.

Leaning over, she gently shook his arm, but it made no impression whatsoever - his eyes stayed resolutely shut. Next she tried his chest, giving him a little push with her fingers but with exactly the same result, he barely moved. Then she gently jostled his hand, but he carried on sleeping like the dead.

Finally, in frustration, she stood up and grabbed his shoulders to give them a little shake.

He sat up abruptly, sunglasses flying off his face, and his eyes flashed open, staring at her in shock. Rey let him go hastily, stepping back, and became instantly, horribly, aware of how small her bikini was, how close her boobs were to falling out of the tiny cups, and how she'd had her hands on a complete stranger without asking.

"Fucking hell. What the fuck are you doing?" he swore, sitting up a little more in his chair, "You can't just grope me while I'm sleeping."

"I didn't grope you!" Rey protested, horrified, "I was just trying to..."

He didn't let her finish.

"I can't believe I've been here less than twelve hours and I've already got problems." he said to himself, standing up from his chair and gathering together his things. "Just leave me alone, ok?"

And off he went.


	2. Chapter 2

It took a while for Rey's anger and embarrassment to subside after the asshole from the pool had left, but it was hard to stay annoyed in the beauty of Barbados. She read for another hour or so, did a few lengths in the cool water, and then made her way back to the kitchen to share lunch with Maz.

Maz greeted her warmly, and they tucked into two delicious salads and fried fish as they caught up on all the missing pieces of each other's lives. Rey talked about her first year of teaching in Hackney High School. The first six months had been a disaster, her pupils had mostly ignored her, and it had been a non stop cycle of 16 hour days and long weekends spent preparing and marking. Things had improved over time, she'd got the hang of most of the job and how to better engage the young people, but there was no doubt it was much harder than she'd imagined.

"Sometimes I wonder if this is really the career I want." Rey finished, sharing her inner most doubts, "I love the kids, they're great for the most part, but it's not quite the fulfilling job I imagined and I can barely pay the rent on my shared flat with Rose. "

"It will get easier with time," Maz assured her, "And I wouldn't make any decision too soon, you're only just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with grief. It makes everything so much harder."

Rey nodded in agreement - although she did want to use this time at The Retreat to really explore and understand what she wanted out of her life. It had been on hold for so long - since her mum was diagnosed when she was nineteen - that she felt she'd barely lived.

"How about friends - do you have some good people in London?" Maz asked

"Yes, and they've kept me sane over the last year. There's Rose - she's a teacher at my school, and we share a tiny flat just off the High Street. It's a bit cosy - but it's affordable - just. And also Finn, her best friend, and his boyfriend Poe. Whenever we get a break from teaching, we hang out together."

Maz leaned over to touch her arm. "I'm very glad to hear it, child. Everyone needs friends. How about someone special - are you in a relationship?"

Rey grimaced, shaking her head.

"Nope. Bit of a drought there to be honest. It's not something I've really got time for."

Her godmother was clearing up the kitchen, putting the plates and food away, and continued.

"Well, you don't need a relationship to be happy - I'm sure you have many other priorities in your life."

................

As Rey walked back to her room, she ran their conversation over in her head. She wished she'd been more honest with Maz. It was true that she barely had time for a relationship, but that didn't mean she didn't want one. She watched Finn and Poe together, their easy banter, the way they had each other's backs, come what may. Someone to pick you up when you were feeling low. All of it sounded wonderful, and she would love that in her life. The last six years had been filled with medical procedures, sadness and grief, and she would dearly like for her life to move into another phase the was full of more hopeful emotions.

She'd never had a long term boyfriend, never slept with anyone, the whole romantic world was a bit of a mystery that she was ready to solve. Meeting someone was the first hurdle.

Her mind went back to the earlier encounter by the pool. That seemed to sum up her romantic options. She finally meets a very attractive man, knee tremblingly so if she was honest with herself, for the first time in forever, and he turns out to be an arrogant prat. Rey felt herself grimacing as she replayed the earlier encounter. The way he had looked at her so dismissively, spoke to her like she was a teenager who couldn't live without her phone, the way he'd presumed she was coming on to him made her blood boil.

A trip to the gym was what she needed, work off some steam and get her head in a better place.

Returning to her room, she changed slowly, rummaging through Maz's bag and found an old t-shirt from an Alanis Morrissette concert, circa 1999. It made Rey smile as she pulled it over her head, imaging Maz dancing wildly all those years ago. It was worn through, the sleeves and the bottom torn off, and it perfectly suited her mood. There were some black sports shorts and like all of Maz's old clothes, they were too short and too small, and she pulled on her running shoes, grateful that she had been wearing them on the plane.

She put in her earbuds, turned up her music and made her way to the gym, speed-walking through the gardens because it was far too hot to run. When she arrived the workout room was wonderfully air-conditioned, almost too cold, and was blissfully empty. Rey looked over the equipment and decided on a long run on one of the machines overlooking the ocean. Running had been a constant through the last few years of her life, the one bit of me time she'd always prioritised, so she cranked up the volume on her iphone, quickly stretched, and hopped on a machine.

After about ten minutes, she hit that state of effortlessness where it was a pleasure, letting the music wash over her, her head empty and enjoy the ocean view. She heard someone come through the door, but didn't want to slow down to see who it was, instead pushing through, upping the pace and pumping her arms.

When she hit the five mile mark, it was time to begin her wind down, slowly dropping her speed until she was walking and her breath returned back to normal. She could hear the sounds of someone on the weight machine behind her, and her stomach flipped.

Knowing her luck, it was going to be the asshole, she was sure of it.

And sure enough, when she turned round, there he was, lying on a bench, doing chest presses. Fortunately he was also plugged in to music, and looking the other way, so she had a moment to compose herself. She wondered whether her best course of action was to try and sneak out the back door before he had a chance to speak and say anything else insulting.

Rey was tempted, but she told herself there was no way this prat was going to get in the way of her workout. Instead, she toweled off, grimacing inwardly, and wondering why once again he was going to see her in the most ridiculous outfit known to man. Her t shirt was soaking wet, the thin white cotton likely transparent and clinging to her like a second skin, and her tiny shorts were half way up her butt.

Her fears were realised when he finished his set, sat up, and looked directly at her.

Rey resolutely ignored him, and made herself not stare at his chest, despite the fact that it was a very impressive sight that made her heart beat a little faster. Instead she walked over to the free weights, grabbed a couple, and went to the farthest corner of the room to continue a set of arm workouts. She could feel him watching her, her skin prickling with tension, but carried on, running through a series of lifts and movements until she was once again in her own private world.

It felt good to be focusing on herself for once, not thinking about work, or her pupils, or cleaning her tiny flat, or paying off her debts, or any of the other myriad concerns that faced her in London. Instead it was just her, taking care of herself, enjoying the beautiful view over the bay, and whoever was standing fifteen feet away was not her concern.

Finally, when her arms were shaking a little from the exertion, she finished, wiping down the equipment and putting everything back in its place. She felt wonderfully tired, but energised too.

She had almost made her exit when he spoke.

"I''m sorry I swore at you earlier." he said. He was still working out, sitting on the leg press, shirtless, lying against a towel. It gave her a little tiny swell of satisfaction to notice the sunburn swathed across his skin.

If he had finished there, she could have just nodded and left, but unfortunately for both of them he carried on.

"I just don't like to be touched against my wishes"

"Stop right there buddy," Rey said, listening to her own voice raise up an octave, "I was just trying to wake you up, I wasn't trying to touch you."

He raised his eyebrows, and his look of smug disbelief made her want to throw the towel at him.

"Right. Whatever you say." he said dismissively, "I'm just letting you know I don't normally swear at women." and he carried on, legs pumping on the machine.

It was a signal for Rey to go, and she would have done, but she had this small nagging feeling in her head. She had touched him, and he hadn't given her permission, and he seemed under the misguided impression she was trying to make a move on him. She needed to set the record straight and, even though it made her want to gag, apologise.

"Ok. Apology accepted, for the swearing. And I'm sorry too, for the touching thing."

She was going to explain more, about how unresponsive he'd been, how she'd just been trying to tell him about the sunburn when he did that thing again where he raised his eyebrows and twisted his lips as if he didn't believe a word she said.

It made her mind up, he didn't deserve her time or explanation, so she grabbed her things and stomped out the door without a backward glance.

............................................

Rey took a nap before dinner, curling up in her bed, letting the sound of the fan above her soothe her to sleep. At first she slept deeply, in a jet-lag induced fug, but after a while she started dreaming.

And of course, the asshole made a guest appearance. They were back at the gym, he was shirtless, covered in sweat, sitting on a bench, and she was on top of him, kissing him as if her life depended on it, his huge hands, which she'd noticed before, roaming all of her flesh, and she had her hands tangled in his hair, pulling his head in closer just like she wanted.

Suddenly they were interrupted by the sound of her phone alarm blaring into her dreams and she work up with a jerk.

She was still turned on, as if the dream was continuing in her head, and she let the fantasy play out a little while her own hands roamed over her body. Christ, she was wet, her fingers slipped between her legs for a moment, enjoying the sensation that she'd hadn't felt in so long, It was almost a shock to feel sexual again, that part of her had been dormant for years, buried deep because she had so many other emotions occupying her time.

Her hand lingered a little longer but dinner was beckoning - she had slept for too long as it was, and she needed to get up and get ready for supper at seven - and more than that she didn't want to be fantasising about a git who didn't deserve her time, no matter how much his broad chest, covered in those little rivulets of sweat, had been front and centre in her dream.

She made her way over to the main house, and found the food set out on the wide wooden deck. Maz was talking to a few guests, neither of whom she recognised, and to her immense relief she didn't spot her nemesis anywhere amongst the groups of people. Rey took a plate from the pile and helped herself to the buffet laid out on one of the small tables. It looked healthy and delicious, more fish, salads, fruit and plantains, and her mouth instantly salivated.

There was a deserted table by the edge of the deck and she took her fully laden plate over to it, hoping for a quiet meal on her own. She liked people, for the most part, but based on her earlier encounter she preferred the staff here more than the guests. The food was indeed heavenly, light, full of flavour and she could feel the goodness sinking in to her neglected body with each mouthful. She knew she needed to take better care of herself; Maz had not said anything, but based on the looks she had given her, and the constant supply of delicious meals, her neglect of her body had not gone unnoticed.

Rey was finishing up her plate when she looked up to see a woman standing next to the table, holding her own serving of buffet. Close up Phasma Jordon was even more striking - with her platinum blond slicked back hair, sleek green lounge-wear and six foot frame.

"Can I join you?" she asked, and without waiting for an answer, put her food down and took a seat, "I saw you at the pool earlier. I'm..." she paused, before rolling her eyes and sighing, "I guess you can call me Gwen." and put out her hand to shake Rey's.

"I'm Rey." she replied.

"Nice to meet you Rey."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, both admiring the view over the gardens to the distant sea beyond. It felt like a separate new world, far removed from the streets of England, and exactly the tonic she needed.

As Phasma finished her food, she spoke again.

"So, what's your story?" she asked, handing her plate to Mary who was waiting nearby, and ordering two fresh drinks for them both. Noticing Rey's closed face she laughed.

"Playing by the rules, I get it. Not supposed to tell anyone, anything. I remember the waiver - "total anonymity at all times"." she said that last bit like she was a lawyer, "Except who are we kidding? Everyone in this place knows who I am. It's a bit hard to be in disguise when you're over six foot tall and have been to the Oscars."

She looked Rey up and down. "You though, are a bit harder. It's been fun trying to guess your story. We have a sweepstake going - most popular is that you're a burnt out influencer from London with an eating disorder and a Russian oligarch for a boyfriend."

Rey could feel a blush heating her face, but also a smile - it was so far removed from her and her real life it was ridiculous.

"Is that your guess?" Rey asked

"No. I think if that were the case you wouldn't be wearing these adorable, but let's face it, rather crazy outfits. You'd be decked out in Hermes, chain smoking, and you certainly wouldn't be eating that much buffet."

"No, I'm thinking more up and coming actress who's found it all a little much and needs a break in the sun. Am I right?"

It was tempting to share her story with Phasma - she seemed fun and kind, but she'd made a promise to Maz not to break the rules.

Instead she shook her head, smiling at the ridiculous notion that anyone would think she made a living from her looks, and changed the subject.

"Have you explored the island yet?" she asked, thinking it might be nice to have a companion for a few excursions. She had persuaded BB to take her up the the north side of the coast sometime during the week to see the lighthouses and views.

"Only a brief trip to Bridgetown to buy some contraband booze." Phasma answered, tapping the glass in front of her, "I'm not here for alcohol problems, so it's a bit much to go T total for two weeks. I bought some rum and vodka to see me through."

She seemed so friendly, without any pretense, that Rey took the plunge and invited Phasma to join her on her trip. To her surprise she said yes, with the caveat that they kept a low profile.

"I've promised my management team that I'll keep things quiet here in Barbados. The studios get spooked when they think directors, especially female ones, have any kind of problems - too much at stake with movie revenues to take a risk with someone who's on the verge of a breakdown."

"Not that I am, of course." she corrected, winking at Rey, "I'm just here for the sunshine if you get asked."

They chatted for a few more minutes until Phasma suddenly stopped mid sentence and took a gulp of her drink as she stared across the deck.

"Fuck me." she said, half laughing, half angry. "I heard a rumour that bitch might be coming this week, but I hoped it wasn't true. But there she is, in the flesh."

"Who?" Rey asked, turning her head to look to where Phasma was so focused.

"If I play by the rules, she's mystery woman No.1" Phasma replied, "Over there, talking to Maz."

Rey looked over and saw a stunning woman, dressed in a skintight black dress, her long brown hair reaching beyond her waist, and her throat glittering with jewellery. She vaguely recognised her, but not enough to be able to pin her down.

"Word of advice, you should avoid her at all costs. She's a poisonous witch, who'd sell her grandma for a glass of champagne, and sleep with her best friends husband just for the fun of it." Phasma continued, standing up. "I better go over to say hello before she thinks I'm avoiding her. It'll give you an excuse to duck out before she gets her claws into you."

With that, she leaned over and gave Rey a kiss on the cheek goodnight, before crossing the space to join Maz.

Rey took her advice, slipping down the stairs at the side and into the garden, back to her room and some more blissful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"How is it going so far?" BB asked kindly as they wended their way through the fruit stands at the market. The sun was just coming up and they were nearly done with the shopping, so they were taking their time to enjoy the last few minutes of quiet before the rush of local grocers at seven am. BB seemed to know everyone in Cheapside, so their shopping was punctuated with waves, smiles, and handshakes from all the stallholders as they went.

"Perfect. I think I've slept more in the last few days than in the last few months, so I'm starting to feel human again." Rey had woken up this morning, and for the first time in forever she'd felt refreshed rather than exhausted.

"That's good. I thought you had some color in your cheeks." BB smiled, picking up two pineapples and putting them in Rey's basket. He chatted for a moment to the stallholder and she noticed once again how everyone seemed so friendly, kind, and open.

As they drove back to the hotel, Rey remarked on it, asking BB if it was a characteristic of the island.

"I'm not sure - I've never lived anywhere else but here, and this is just how we are with each other. It's a small island, so it pays to be nice to everyone. There's no escape!" BB laughed, navigated the small van through the streets.

"I wish everyone was as friendly as the Bajans." Rey sighed, mostly to herself,

BB looked over at her.

"Someone been not so nice to you at The Retreat?" he asked, "You tell me and I'll have a word."

"No, no, nothing serious. Pha..I mean Gwen was very kind to me and I've only spoken to one other guest, and he was an idiot, so as a mathematician, I should say 50/50 isn't bad."

"Was he by the pool? Arrived yesterday?"

"Yep."

BB grimaced.

"I know exactly who you mean. He's already got a reputation amongst the staff. He was rude to Mary, saying his drink was too warm even though she'd just made it, and to Chef last night, saying his food was bland. He's certainly not making any friends. Behaving like he rules the place, which is ironic given he's an accountant from Ohio, not a rock star or movie mogul like some of the other people staying here."

Rey must have looked surprised at him sharing so much, and he must have regretted his indiscretion because he immediately followed up with

"I shouldn't have told you that. Don't let Maz know will you?"

"Of course not, it's our little secret."

Rey had no intention of telling anyone, although she couldn't contain her grin to find out that the asshole was a regular person, just like her. His bad manners weren't about PTSD from his stardom, but rather old-fashioned arrogance. She'd presumed by his conceited behavior, and striking looks he was one of the famous guests. It almost made her look forward to their next encounter.

They arrived back at the main house to find Mary waiting for them in the kitchen, a local station on the radio blasting out music, and they set to work preparing the breakfast. With three of them, it took barely twenty minutes and Rey was free before 8 am, warm coffee in hand, to enjoy the rest of the morning.

She wasn't one for sunbathing, so avoided the pool and decided instead to go for another walk and explore the surrounding areas, before changing for her first therapy session.

It was part of the program for all guests, a 1:1 session each day. Rey had chosen the earliest slots due to her jetlag and made her way back to the main house where she had a session of Ayurveda meditation arranged. When Maz and she had discussed how she should spend her time at the Retreat, they'd agreed that she should focus on her health and general well-being, rather than therapy. The whole program was an alien concept to Rey, but if it helped her take control of her health, and see a brighter future for herself, then she was all in.

The thirty minutes passed incredibly quickly, and although she found some of it challenging, particularly letting go of her conscious thoughts, she left the session feeling more energized and calm than when she'd gone in.

It set her up for the remainder of the day. She'd asked Maz if she could help in the kitchens that afternoon to help prep for the evening, and she had reluctantly agreed, so Rey spent a couple of contented hours working alongside Chef, Mary, and BB, cutting, dicing, and prepping various ingredients, whilst they listened to island radio and chatted about nothing. It felt good to be useful, and even better to be in easy company.

Eventually though Maz came and found her, shooing her away and telling her to go and get ready for the welcome reception.

...............................................................

It was becoming almost comedic, the dresses she pulled from Maz's bad of delights. Tonight she chose a black leopard print sheath, that made her look like she'd got lost on her way back from an eighties safari. At least it was nearly floor-length, and she pulled her hair up into a high ponytail for a change, throwing on a slick of mascara from the toiletries bag, and the garish pink lipstick that Maz had given her.

As she made her way to the main house, the gardens were lit up with lanterns, and it looked beautiful against the darkening sky, giving the Retreat a magical quality that Rey loved. She could smell the sea breeze on the air and the sound of music from the broad deck and her heart lifted a little.

When she arrived at the wide outdoor lounge area, Maz found her almost immediately, taking her arm and ushering her towards the food laid out on the wide tables.

"I've got to greet everyone - we have some guests from the lodge next door coming for the evening so it's going to be a busy night." she explained, "But I see some guests, Hux, Kylo, and Zara over there" - she pointed to the redhead from the pool yesterday, the asshole, and the beautiful woman she'd seen yesterday, "Why don't you go over a chat?"

"Maybe." Rey lied, having no intention of doing anything of the kind, but curious to know who was who.

Maz explained. "Taller one is Kylo, the red-head is Hux. I'm sure they'd welcome the company."

And she gave Rey a gentle shove in their direction.

"Off you go. Make friends, mingle."

To appease Maz, Rey wandered towards them, and then as soon as she left, abruptly turned and walked in the opposite direction, looking around the space - there were small groups of people, most of whom she didn't recognize, talking and enjoying the evening.

Phasma hadn't arrived yet, but she gave Mary and BB a little wave, both of them were handing around drinks and appetizers. She decided to keep her own company for a while and wandered to a small sofa, which faced the view, sinking down into the cushions and taking a sip of her fruit drink. It was a perfect evening, and Rey was happy in her own thoughts, letting the island breezes, and the friendly atmosphere, wash over her.

After a few minutes, she heard two voices behind her.

Hux and Kylo had moved to stand behind her and it was obvious that they hadn't noticed she was there.

Out of curiosity, she knelt and turned round to face them, hoping that they wouldn't spot her, but giving her a very clear view of them both. They were mid-conversation.

"It's slim pickings here, isn't it? I thought that it would be wall to wall frantic groupies and eager actresses." Hux, the redhead said.

Kylo, (what a ridiculous name) seemed to be ignoring him, and took another sip of his drink, looking away.

Hux continued.

"I guess if I get desperate there's always Bazine, she looks up for anything."

Kylo snorted into his glass.

"She wouldn't give you the time of day," he said dismissively, moving to walk away.

Hux put his hand on his arm to stop him.

"What about you? Seen anyone here you like?"

Rey waited with bated breath to hear what he would say and was a little surprised by his reply.

"I'm not looking," he said matter-of-factly, reaching out to grab another canape from a passing tray. "Not why I'm here."

"Really?" Hux asked, "I find that hard to believe. What about that Rey woman? I know she has terrible dress sense, but she looks hot in a bikini and she'd probably be grateful for the attention. Good for a casual fuck."

She watched as Kylo turned to face Hux, and paused for a while, looking him dead in the eye before she heard him clearly say.

"She's not my type. She's obviously crazy, looks like a madwoman and would probably murder you in your sleep. And I'd steer clear too if I were you."

And then he walked away, drink in hand, over to join a group of people by the bar.

Rey took a minute to compose herself. Kylo's words had stung, even if she thought he was an idiot and shouldn't care less about his opinion. Still, it was a harsh assessment that no one liked to hear.

Eventually though she started to see the funny side, and went to find Phasma, who had just arrived, to recount the conversation, embellishing the story until they were both laughing out loud at the absurdity of it.

"So, apparently I'm too ugly and crazy to fuck. Life's ambition realized"

They clinked glasses in celebration and chatted about their day. Phasma, Rey noted, might look like a woman who had the world at her feet, but like everyone else, had her own struggles. Although she didn't say directly, Rey inferred that she was spending time at the Retreat to regroup before returning to L.A. They spoke in code, both careful to try and respect Maz's rules, but enough to let each other know a little about their past lives.

When the evening wound down, Phasma gave Rey a warm hug before departing, planning to get together the next day to travel to the north of the island after lunch, and Rey made her way back to her room,

.......................................................................

The next day Rey woke and looked out of her balcony at the water-drenched gardens. It had been raining all night, and the air was heavy and humid. She grabbed a piece of fruit from the bowl in her room, and quickly changed into some workout gear, ready to face the day with a bit of a light run.

She jogged slowly around the grounds, letting her mind and muscles gradually come to life, and soak up the sounds of a Caribbean morning. Following the advice from her instructor yesterday, she focused on nothing other than her breathing and enjoying the world around her.

Her run was almost done when she met Kylo, on the path back to her room, coming the opposite way. He was carrying a tennis racket, with a towel thrown over his shoulder, and instantly stopped when he saw her. And because the path was narrow, she had no choice but to stop too.

They stood for a few seconds, staring at each other, and Rey was determined not to speak first, so held his stare in silence.

Finally he spoke, with an inane greeting that set her teeth on edge.

"Nice morning, isn't it?"

Her well-drilled British politeness prevented her from just ignoring him, so Rey answered

"Yep. Peachy."

He smiled annoyingly at her, as if her brief words were a challenge, and went on.

"Peachy indeed. Where are you off to?"

"Back to my room." she could almost feel herself rolling her eyes at him, "So if you'll excuse me..."

and made a move to walk around him, stepping onto the plants beside the path.

He didn't take the hint, and carried on standing in front of her, knocking the racket against his thigh slowly as if thinking of what to say next.

"Your name's Rey, right?" he asked finally.

The question surprised Rey so much she answered before she'd even thought about it.

"Yes." and then instantly regretted it. She really needed to give this man zero reasons to ever speak to her again.

"I'm Kylo." he said.

"I didn't ask."

"I know, but I thought I'd tell you anyway."

"Kylo. Right. You couldn't just go for Steve or Matt or any other normal name?" Rey replied, sarcasm lacing her answer, "Something that would make sense?"

He looked a bit taken aback by her tone, but then replied

"Fair enough. I guess it's a bit unusual. So is Rey by the way. I suppose both of us like unusual fake names."

She let out a grumpy hrmph and then moved to walk past him again.

This time he did move, stepping aside so she could walk past.

As she did, he called after her

"Do you play tennis?"

She laughed out loud at the thought - in her world, tennis was for posh kids and retirees. Rey had never even held a racket before.

"Nope, can't say I do." she turned to answer.

"Would you like to learn?" he asked, tapping his racket more speedily against his leg. If he wasn't such a git she would have thought he was nervous.

"Are you offering to teach me?" it seemed very unlikely

He nodded, watching her carefully.

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" she didn't even try to disguise the surprise in her voice.

"I need someone to play with. It's a bit hard on your own. And you seem quite fit and..." he stopped himself, and again, if it wasn't for his arrogance, she could have sworn he had gone a little red.

"Aren't you worried I might try and murder you on the court?"

He looked confused for a second, then dumbstruck, then incredibly embarrassed, for certain this time, the red creeping across his face.

"Fuck." he mumbled, under his breath. "You weren't supposed to hear that. I'm sorry."

"Don't give it another thought." Rey said, "I'm likely to forget it anyway.....due to my madness." and she turned back to the path, breaking into a light jog, leaving him looking stunned behind her.

.................................................................

The rain had disappeared by the time BB was free to take Rey and Phasma on a trip to the north side of the island. He proved to be an excellent tour guide, showing them some of the older villages, through the sugar cane fields and eventually to a lighthouse with glorious views of the crashing ocean. BB's mother had a house nearby so they arranged to meet after an hour, given Rey and Phasma time to explore.

Although the terrain was much steeper than on the west side of the island, it was worth it to enjoy some solitude so they grabbed a couple of water bottles and decided to go for a hike, walking along the cliff edge, past the lighthouse, and eventually down to a deserted beach.

Most of the time they walked in silence, Rey very conscious of Maz's rules, and careful not to ask too much about Phasma's past life, however much she wanted to. Phasma did the same, so instead they chatted about the last few days.

When the heat of the day became too much they decided to take a dip in the ocean where they both were merrily soaked by the surprisingly rough water, Phasma asked,

"So, seen any more of Kylo after last night?"

Rey grimaced.

"I have, yes. Met him this morning. Can't seem to avoid him."

Phasma looked intrigued.

"Spill!"

"Not much to tell, honestly. We met on a path, he was coming one way, I the other."

"And?"

"And nothing really. He asked me to play tennis."

Phasma looked shocked.

"He did what?"

"Yep. Odd I know. I said no of course."

"Of course" Phasma agreed, although she had a thoughtful expression on her face.

"What?"

"Well, seems a bit strange. Maybe he's in to you."

Rey laughed out loud.

"Of course he isn't. It's just that he didn't have anyone else to play with."

Phasma raised her eyebrows and looked skeptical.

"I play tennis, he didn't ask me. I think he's coming on to you."

This time Rey laughed even louder, playfully splashing Phasma with some water to shut her up.

"That's ridiculous, there's no way. I told you what he said to Hux."

They stood in silence for a moment, both watching the ocean waves.

"Hmm. I'm not so sure." Phasma spoke again, "I'm going to watch the two of you together like a hawk from now on. I'm not often wrong about these things."

"Please don't!" Rey pleaded, suddenly embarrassed, "There's no way he is, and even if he was, he's a total ass." and waded out of the ocean and back to the beach.

When it was time to leave they started walking back along the path towards the lighthouse where BB was meeting them.

As they neared the car, Phasma spoke again.

"Why don't you fuck him?" she asked, matter-of-factly, "If he is coming on to you? A good fuck is the best form of stress release my therapist says. Think of it as part of your recovery. Doctor mandated. And he's built like he knows what he's doing in bed. Not my type of course." she added hastily, "Far too brooding and male for me. I prefer easy-going, and female." she winked at Rey, "But if you're just fucking him, who cares about his personality? And think of the story you'd have to share with the grandkids!"

Rey nearly choked as she sipped her water, imaging telling her grandkids about when she shagged some random accountant in Barbados.

BB was waiting for them and it cut short any more conversation, but when they arrived back at the Retreat, Phasma hugged her goodbye.

"Think about it. Could be just the distraction you need."


	4. Chapter 4

Ben Solo made his way slowly over to the main house for dinner having just finished another frustrating call with his manager and the rest of the band.

They wanted him to stay longer at The Retreat, even longer than he'd initially agreed to. Two whole weeks in fact, much more than the long weekend he'd signed up for.

He knew why, and if he was honest with himself, he agreed with their reasoning. He was burnt out, exhausted, bad-tempered, and every single piece of creativity and desire to play music had totally deserted him. None of that was going to be fixed in four days.

Looking back he wasn't even sure how he'd got to this place. The First Order had gone from being a mildly successful college band that he'd formed with some friends ten years ago to give him a break from his studies, to being one of the biggest bands on the planet thanks to an amazing lead singer, Bazine Netal, and his run of luck writing songs that fitted perfectly into the zeitgeist of the 2010s.

It had been a hell of a ride, starting out playing tiny local gigs, building a loyal fan base, and figuring out how to succeed in music. And the first eight years or so had been incredible.

But something had changed in the last couple of years.

They'd got too famous somehow, and the equilibrium between the music and all the rest that came with it had got seriously out of balance. Instead of writing songs and doing the odd tour, he was spending all his time fielding requests for interviews, and his management team was increasingly expecting him to join Bazine as the public face of the band - something he adamantly refused to do.

Thanks to just being the bass player and the songwriter, he'd managed to always take a back seat publicly, let Bazine take the limelight and the kudos, and only do what he loved best - play and write music.

About twelve months ago he'd caved, and against his better judgment, he'd thrown himself into the social life in L.A., and started drinking to manage the stress. Surrounded by fake people, groupies who wanted to fuck him just because of his money and leaches who wanted to use him for their own ends, it was a toxic mess that quickly spiraled out of control.

Eventually it came crashing down, when he stopped turning up for rehearsals on time, too hungover to function and hadn't written anything new in months. His uncle Luke had come to visit him to gave him the harsh truth - he had turned into a total monster that no one wanted to be around.

Thirty days of rehab followed spent in isolation in Utah, and without the crazy L.A. lifestyle he found giving up booze was relatively easy.

Then, back to L.A., where the band had met him, taken one look at his worn-out and depressed persona, and sent him and Bazine here to The Retreat to get ready for their UK tour in a few days' time, hoping that the Caribbean sun would work its magic.

And so far it had.

Each day he was feeling a little better, and starting to return to his old self bit by bit.

He'd agreed to meet Bazine for a pre-dinner drink to update her on the latest from the band, and she was waiting for him on the deck, sitting on a table looking out over the view.

She turned as he arrived, giving him the benefit of her perfect face, wearing the sleekest of catsuits which had become her signature outfit, making no effort to blend in to the relaxed island vibe. She was stunning, of course, her other-worldly looks combined with that husky voice had been one of the things that had catapulted The First Order to stardom, and she used it as a weapon.

It had worked on Ben once - in the early days of the band when they'd had a brief but intense affair - but it was a mistake he knew never to repeat - Bazine thought of relationships only in the context of her ego and Ben had no desire to be at the end of her tiger's tail.

Instead they were now friends, as much as Bazine was friends with anyone and bandmates. She relied on Ben to write songs uniquely suited to her and her voice, and he let her soak up their publicity department's requirements for a public face of the band.

"Hello Ben - or should I say Kylo?" she smiled wickedly at him, standing up and giving him a kiss on his cheek. He felt her move her lips towards his mouth and stepped back a little to break the contact and sit down.

"Spoilsport," she said, raising her glass to take a sip. "You never were any fun."

Ben gave her a pointed glance.

"We're supposed to be strangers," he said shrugging.

Bazine laughed out loud.

"Only someone who's been living under a rock for the last few years is not going to figure this out." she corrected, "Why bother?"

He tried not to let his exasperation show.

"We can at least try."

"Whatever. Tell me the latest from the band."

Ben spent a few minutes updating her, about the plans for rehearsals in London before the tour, and the changes to the set. Bazine easily switched into professional mode, and they quickly ran through all the logistics in a few minutes whilst it was still quiet on the deck.

He noticed a few of the team at The Retreat starting to bring out food for the guests who would be arriving any second. It was their signal to switch out of band mode and so he stood up to leave the table just as he spotted Hux and Phasma appear.

Would it be possible to avoid Hux? The man was an idiot, that much was clear, and he seemed to think that Kylo was his new best friend. The Retreat was small enough that it was getting increasingly hard to avoid him, particularly when most of the guests were present.

Still, he'd try. Perhaps the distraction of Bazine would occupy him? She was irresistible to most, and would happily eat him for breakfast, so he waved him over so he could make his escape.

Bazine must have realized his intention, because she gave Ben a pointed glance as Hux and Phasma approached their table.

Phasma, or Gwen as she was known at the Retreat, greeted them both in her usual distracted fashion, grabbing a drink and pouring something from a flask into it.

She gave Ben a look of apology and said quietly.

"Sorry mate didn't mean to do that in front of you. Bad form." before quickly changing the subject.

"How's everyone's day been?" her smile was warm and genuine, "Done anything exciting on our island paradise?"

Hux started to talk, sharing a very boring story that they all collectively ignored. Gwen interrupted him.

"Wonderful. So exciting. Anyway, I've had a very interesting day," and she gave Ben an extremely pointed look, her blue eyes boring into his with an unsettling intensity.

"Do tell." Bazine replied, looking intrigued.

"Well, I went for a long walk with Rey." she replied, smiling from ear to ear at Ben.

He met her glance, wondering where she was going with the story, and trying not to look as if he cared.

"Who's Rey?" Bazine asked, confused.

"You know," Hux interjected, "She's the one who wears all the crazy clothes - Russian gangsters bit on the side - tried to grope Kylo on his first day here."

Bazine looked even more confused, but Gwen swiftly interrupted.

"You're an idiot." she said, looking at Hux, "And Rey did nothing of the sort. Anyway, we went for a walk up on the north side of the island and...."

She stopped mid-sentence and looked across the deck. Ben followed her gaze, and of course there was Rey, just arrived, waiting near the entrance.

He had no idea why, but every time he saw her it was like being struck by a miniature bolt of lightning. She was standing there, wearing another absurd dress that clung to her in a way that made Ben's mouth go dry, and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

Phasma stood up and waved at her in greeting,

"Come and join us!" Phasma called out, "Everyone here wants to meet you."

Ben watched as she, seemingly reluctantly, made her way towards them.

She had more color in her cheeks now, and a memory of her, leaning over him in that minute bikini, flashed into his mind, and he almost had to shake his head to dispel it. Now was not the time to think about how she had looked, the curve of her waist, the small breasts, the long legs, those hazel eyes, that mouth as she'd gasped at him in shock.

When she arrived at the table, Phasma quickly introduced everyone. He watched as she greeted everyone in turn.

She was warm with Bazine, doing a credible job of ignoring the fact that she was one of the most famous singers on the planet at the moment when Gwen called her 'Zara', and he noticed with pleasure that she only raised her eyebrows at Hux, and gave him a small nod with her chin.

When it came to him though, she utterly blanked him, looking straight past him as if he didn't exist as Phasma said "And I think you've met Kylo already."

It was certainly very novel to be overlooked by a woman, and it took a little getting used to as he tried to ignore the bruise to his ego. He didn't blame her - she'd overheard what he'd said to Hux, and it didn't paint him in a very positive light.

He regretted it - not what he'd said - he needed to make sure that Hux left her alone, for her own sake - but that she'd heard him and he hadn't had a chance to explain. Although he wasn't sure what he'd even say if he did, given he was still confused about it himself.

All he knew was that the thought of Hux paying her any attention was unacceptable and he'd said the first thing he could think of to stop him.

Bazine looked at them both, an interested glint in her eyes.

"So, how do you two know each other?"

Rey didn't reply, instead turning towards him and fixing him with her gaze, as if challenging him to answer.

"We don't, really. We've just seen each other around."

Ben tried the shortest and simplest response he could think of. The last thing either he or Rey needed was for Bazine to sense there might be something interesting to dig in to - her nosiness was legendary.

She looked between them both, seemingly unconvinced, but before she could ask more, Phasma changed the subject, suggesting they all make some plans for dinner off-site in a few days and talking about all the best restaurants in the area.

As Phasma and Bazine argued happily about The Cliff vs The Tides, Ben took the opportunity to steal another glance at Rey. She was sipping her drink, turned away from him, listening intently to the two women banter back and forth.

He needed to figure out what was going on in his head, and why he was reacting to her the way he was. On the surface, she wasn't at all his type, although come to think of it, he wasn't sure he had a type. Being in a band, he was holed up in his house, writing music, in the recording studio 24x7, or on the road. None of those were conducive to relationships.

But there was something about her that intrigued him. Before he could think any more, Rey must have realized he was watching her, as she swiveled slightly on the barstool to face him.

"What's wrong now?" she asked, "Wondering if I'm about to lose my cool?"

She was so direct, it threw him.

"No. I'm not." he almost stumbled over his words, thrown by the intensity of her gaze, "I was just thinking about your day."

"My day?" she sounded genuinely surprised. "What about it? And why on earth would you care?"

They needed to get on the right foot. When he'd first seen her by the pool, he'd been exhausted from the flight, hadn't eaten in days and was burning with a lingering resentment that he was even here. And he'd instantly decided that she was just like all the people he'd left behind in L.A. - venal, shallow, and ready to use anyone and everyone for their own benefit.

It was becoming clear though that he had read her very wrong.

"Can we just forget about last night?" he said, mildly exasperated, "I didn't mean for you to hear any of that, I'm sorry you did. In fact, can we forget all of it?"

She seemed to be weighing that up in her mind, her head tilting to the side in consideration.

After a few moments, she nodded.

"Yep, I guess I can do that. My homework from my session this morning was to work on letting the past go, so this fits right in."

She had such an expressive face, when she mentioned her past, he could see flashes of sadness in her eyes, and he wondered again what might have brought her here. He didn't believe Hux's theories about Rey, and it wasn't his business anyway, but one thing he could tell was that whatever she was trying to work through here at The Retreat had hurt her deeply.

There was something about her that made him want to get to know her better, but before he had a chance to ask her more, she turned her body away from him and back to the group as if to signal their conversation was at an end.

He spent the remainder of the evening covertly watching her, taking in her perfect profile, the way she wrinkled her nose when she smiled, how quick she was to laugh - at least with other people - and the warmth that seemed to flow from her like the sun.


	5. Chapter 5

It was beyond distracting to have Kylo working out in the gym next to her again.

Rey had finished a little early with the breakfast prep, and had quickly changed and headed over to the workout room, hoping for some peace and quiet. Her head was all over the place, and she needed to find some serenity before her session with her therapist later that morning.

At first, it was quiet, and she moved some mats over to the view so she could stretch watching the sunrise. She was just completing her final set when the door opened and in walked in Kylo, hair tousled with sleep, stubble across his face, athletic body on full display.

It felt like being hit by a truck of testosterone - instant attraction.

He just stood still, a few feet from her, clearly waiting for her to finish the stretch. Rey tried not to think about her position, downward-facing dog, or the view it afforded him of her arse in the air. And to be fair, he seemed to be making a big thing of not looking at her, angling his body away towards the outlook of the ocean.

When she finished her salute to the sun she turned to face him.

"Morning." he said, "Sleep well?"

To answer truthfully, she'd have had to tell him about the incredible, erotic, arousing dreams she'd had all night, and the fact that he'd featured in all of them, fucking her thoroughly.

Instead she just said.

"Yep. You?"

"Not really. Not used to the quiet here, I live in..." he trailed off, as if suddenly remembering the confidentiality rule, ".. in a noisy city, so this is a bit too much silence for my head."

"I know what you mean. Compared to...." she smiled at him mischievously, "...the secret place I live, the quiet takes a bit of getting used to. I go to bed with the radio playing, just so my head can switch off."

"I'll try that." he nodded.

She watched as he stood awkwardly facing her, as if not sure what to do next. After what seemed like ages, he just nodded and walked towards the set of weights in the corner, and started stretching.

Rey did her best to not watch him as she toweled down from her yoga. It was rude to stare in a gym, she knew that, so she only allowed herself the occasional glance over.

Whatever was going on with her hormones was maddening. She'd had another of her dreams last night, where Kylo had been the main event, and she'd woken up hot and aroused and turned on beyond belief, to the point where she'd barely touched herself before her orgasm came, with a sobbing intensity. It had somehow left her wanting more though, and the sight of him working out feet away wasn't helping. She'd never felt this way - instant physical attraction mixed with emotional dislike - like the two sides of herself were at war.

She realised she was standing still, thinking, when he stopped on the weight machine and looked over at her.

"That offer for tennis still stands." he called out. "You seem to be the only one in this place who wants to do some exercise."

"I told you - I can't play."

He was looking at her intently.

"I told you I'd teach you. And if the tennis doesn't work out, we can go for a run. You know how to do that don't you?"

He said the last bit with a hint of sarcasm that made Rey want to throw her towel at him.

"Fine. Let's play some tennis. And don't even try to teach me - how hard can it be if you can do it?"

He laughed out loud at that last bit, and his voice was hoarse as if it was a sound he made very infrequently.

"Good. I'm going to finish this set - why don't we meet on the courts in half an hour."

........................................................................

They lasted less than fifteen minutes.

Rey was useless at tennis, couldn't coordinate the movement of the racket and the ball, and every time she did hit it, it careered wildly off in every direction except towards Kylo. She was surprised that he didn't immediately turn into the bad-tempered hot head she met on the first day as his frustration grew, but he managed to keep a lid on it to her surprise, even though she could see he was growing increasingly despairing of her ever getting the hang of the game.

Once all their balls were littered on the other side of the tall fence, they called it a day.

"I did tell you." Rey shrugged her shoulders, putting the racket away, "This is definitely not my sport. Let's go for that run instead."

She only had one pair of sports shoes, so she waited patiently whilst Kylo changed.

He pulled off his white tennis shirt, giving her a quick glimpse of his hard stomach, and it called her back to her dream last night. She felt her face blush at the reminder and decided to walk over to the path and start stretching to give him a minute to change.

After a little while, he jogged over and suggested she take the lead. Rey happily did, quickly wending her way back along the paths that she'd explored over the last few days, running at a relaxed pace until she could tell that he was finding it easy to keep up. She took that as a sign to speed up, and soon they were running at quite a lick along the narrow paths, swiftly reaching the edge of The Retreat, and finding the main road that ran alongside the coast.

Kylo ran on the spot for a second, slightly out of breath, and asked.

"Is this a good idea? Anyone can see us here."

Rey laughed out loud.

"Who cares? No one will take any notice - and half a mile along the road is the most incredible view of the sea I found the other day. Come on!"

and she broke into a faster run, picking up the pace to the point where she could feel her heart and lungs needing to switch into a new gear. She could hear him pounding behind her, and when she could see the coastal path she broke into a near sprint, crossing the road and running along the dirt track, around the corner and there was the Caribbean Sea, laid out in front of them in all its blue-tinged glory.

Rey stopped running them, bending over to catch her breath, taking in deep lungfuls of the warm air. She could feel the sweat from the humidity and the mid-morning sunshine, covering her.

Kylo joined her, his face also red from exertion.

"Are you some kind of professional athlete on the side?" he asked, "I haven't run that fast in years!"

It made Rey smile at the compliment.

"No, of course not. But what I do is.... it can be stressful, people all day, so I like to run to take my mind off what's going on."

He looked at her pointedly, as if wanting her to say more, and Rey was struck by the need to tell him a little about her life. She already knew he was an accountant, so what harm would it do to tell him a little about herself? She hesitated for a moment but then didn't say any more. She had promised Maz she would stick to the rules, and given how incredibly generous it was to let her stay here for free, it was the least she could do.

When she remained silent, he let the topic go, walking slowly towards the path down to the beach. It was still too early for holidaymakers to have arrived, so they had the expanse of sand mostly to themselves, with only a few hotel workers in the distance setting up sunbeds and umbrellas.

"Looks like we won't be noticed. Shall we go for a swim? Cool off?" Kylo asked, and without waiting for a reply, he had stripped off his shirt, again, then his running shoes and socks, but mercifully left his shorts on, and was wading into the water.

Rey hesitated for a moment, but she could feel the cool of the water in the breeze and her mind was quickly made up.

She tore off her shirt, wincing a little at the old ragged bra underneath - the one that she'd been wearing when she arrived that she'd been washing in the sink every night. It was old, worn through, barely holding together pieces of pink cotton that looked like one of those training bras teenagers wore. Come to think of it, it probably was, given she'd had it forever, and it had never seemed a priority to buy herself something more adult. Still, she wasn't going to run back in her wet t-shirt, and it was no more revealing than a bikini. Hesitating a little longer, she pulled down her shorts too for the same reason, and then wearing the white cotton panties that Maz had given her, ran hastily into the waves where Kylo was waiting.

He was watching her, and she was a little annoyed he hadn't turned away. Kylo looked at her intently, and she was waiting for the sarcastic comment about her underwear but it didn't come. Instead, he waded a little deeper into the water away from her, saying something to himself that she couldn't hear, until he was up to his chest and facing the waves.

The water was wonderfully refreshing, and she swam a little to reach him, waves wetting her body and hair until she was soaked through. She couldn't stand next to him, it was too deep, so had to tread water to keep her head afloat.

They stayed like that for several minutes, letting the motion of the water move them to and fro, neither of them speaking, until the hot sun and the sound of people made them both turn back.

"We'd better head back," Kylo said, taking her hand and guiding her towards the beach until her feet hit the sand and she could walk next to him.

They waded through the waves and were nearly free of the water when she heard Kylo swear.

"Fuck. I knew it." and he dropped her hand and ran towards their pile of clothes where they'd left them on the sand. He grabbed his shirt and threw it towards her.

"Put this on." he instructed and after piling their remaining belongings into his arms, ordered "Let's go."

Rey clutched his shirt to her chest, confused.

"What's the problem?" she asked, looking around her. Most people were going about their business but then she noticed two lads, phones out, recording them both as they stood there.

It made her blood boil instantly.

"Perverts!" she yelled at them, waving her fist "You should be ashamed of yourselves!" and started moving towards them but it was too late, they were off, jogging down the beach back towards the hotels.

"What the hell was that?" Rey turned to Kylo, "I can't believe someone would take photos of people like that in broad daylight!"

He looked livid, still staring at where they'd come from as if wrestling with whether he should run after them.

"Yep. I thought we'd be ok somewhere remote like this, but seems not." his voice was quiet with anger, "I was an idiot to let you wear that."

He turned towards her, where she was still holding his shirt, gesturing towards her. "Can you just put that on, now." he said, his voice cold, "We've got enough problems as it is."

Rey's pulse was still racing from her earlier encounter and when Kylo spoke to her that way, giving her orders and behaving as if he was ashamed of her, her anger immediately boiled over.

"Don't speak to me like that," she said, throwing his shirt back towards him, "There's nothing wrong with what I'm wearing - it looks like a bikini for god's sake. You're acting as if I'm naked."

He had grabbed the shirt and was holding it balled up in his fist.

"I'm just trying to look out for you." he said, his voice precise and cold, "You can't see what you look like, but trust me, unless we want further attention, you need to put on my shirt and we need to get out of here before this beach gets more crowded."

Rey hesitated a moment longer, and then finally pulled the shirt over her head, and they began walking back towards the road, Kylo leading them on a route to avoid the tourists that were starting to appear from all sides. Pausing only for a minute to put on their shoes, they were soon back on the path to The Retreat and walked in silence the remainder of the way back.

They finally arrived back at the lodges and were standing in front of the stairs to Rey's room. 

"I'm sorry that I was heavy-handed earlier, and I'm sorry that you've got involved in this mess," he said, handing her back her shorts and t-shirt.

She took the clothes and thought carefully about her reply

"I'm not sure what that was back at the beach, but don't speak to me that way ever again. I can wear what I want, do what I want, and you don't need to police that. Or me."

She watched as he let the words sink in, and then ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Fuck. That's not what that was about. I was just trying to protect you and..."

"I don't need protecting Kylo." and she walked up the stairs.

.................................................................

The next session with the therapist was a bit of a breakthrough. It involved some tears, some anger, but mostly just a sense of peace, and coming to terms with where her life was.

It was very clear to Rey now that she needed to move beyond her past, and that she had a lot of catching up to do.

They had written a short list together of goals for the future. Number 1 was to figure out her job, and whether teaching really was the career she wanted. Number 2 was to get her health back on track. And Number 3 was 'don't overthink everything, just have fun.'

Number 3 then became the topic of conversation when she and Maz had lunch a little later. Maz had driven her back down to Holetown to grab some seafood from one of the stalls by the market. They had bought two helpings of fish fry and were sitting down on a bench watching the world go by, chatting about their day.

"Just have fun." Rey said, swallowing down another mouthful of the delicious food, "Sounds easy doesn't it?"

"Well, you're in the right place for it." Maz countered, "What have you got planned for the next few days?"

"Gwen and I said we'd go for another drive with BB in a few days, and I'm really enjoying getting some exercise."

"And aren't you going to The Tides tomorrow with some of the other guests?" Maz asked

Rey shook her head, not wanting to lie to Maz. There was no way she could afford to go to that restaurant - she'd looked up the menu online and the cost of the meal would totally clean out her meager bank balance.

Maz wasn't fooled.

"You're going Rey. This fits exactly into the category of 'have fun'. I know the manager - I'll have a word, your meal is on me."

Rey immediately protested.

"You're already doing far too much for me as it is. I can't let you fund my dinner too."

"I insist. It's the least I can do for my only god-daughter." and she lent over to give Rey a warm hug, "It's decided. I don't want to hear any more about it."

They finished their food and took a stroll around the stalls and shops in the old town. Everyone seemed to know Maz, and every few feet she was greeted warmly with a wave or a hug. It made Rey a little envious of the sense of community and closeness of people on the island.

Eventually, they had to return so that Maz could help get ready for the evening meal. Rey decided to join her in the kitchen, and spent a happy hour or so with Maz, Mary, BB, and Chef, helping prepare a large stew, traditional to Barbados, and a fruit tart.

When the food was finished, she decided to grab a bowl and eat in the kitchen with the others, before serving began. It allowed her to spend a few more minutes in their company, and also to avoid seeing Kylo again. 

Rey urgently needed to figure out what was going on in her head where he was concerned.

She was certainly attracted to Kylo, physically at least. It would be hard not to be. She couldn't remember ever having this response to someone, an instant punch of desire. It felt a little like the crushes she used to have in school, just multiplied by a thousand.

It was a shame he was such an ass-hole really. Every time she had just about decided he was ok, quite nice even, he'd go and do something like this morning, when he'd behaved like she was the whore of Babylon for being photographed in her underwear.

It was messing with her mind, this rapid swing between quite liking him and wanting to throw something at his head. And in either state, there was this undertone of attraction, a thrumming of desire that she couldn't shake.

At some point, she needed to figure out what was going on in her mind, but for now, she decided to wander back to her room for an early night, ready for sunrise yoga in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Maz gave her the morning off given she had helped out at dinner the night before, so Rey could join the sunrise yoga.

She set her alarm for 5.30am, and made her way back to the pool where she was greeted by the instructor, Jill, and offered a mat and towel. The sun was coming up over the horizon as she joined a bleary-eyed group of men and women, most of which she recognized from around and about the Retreat. Centered at the front was Zara who she'd met from the dinner a few nights back, wearing a sleek lavender ensemble that contoured every inch of her lithe body.

She gave Rey a little nod, and soon they both were absorbed with the flow of the movements. Jill led them through a series of stretches, positions, and motions and Rey followed along. She wasn't an expert by any means, but Rose had dragged her along to the occasional class so she was able to complete the moves for the most part.

At the end, she felt that wonderful combination of tired but refreshed, relaxed but energized, and was just preparing to leave when Zara called out to her.

"Let's grab a coffee," she said in a tone that suggested that 'no' wasn't an option. Rey hadn't spent much time talking to her, but the woman exuded confidence and a sense that you'd be mad to deny her what she wanted. It might be fun chatting with her for a while.

They made their way over to one of the tables on the deck where Mary bought them a large pot of coffee and a plate of fruit.

After a few minutes of small talk about the yoga class, Zara shifted the tone of the conversation.

"So how do you two know each other?"

Rey was flummoxed for a moment and then answered.

"She's my godmother."

Zara let out a little laugh, but it wasn't a friendly sound.

"No, not her. Him. How do you know B.. I mean Kylo? Did you know each other before we all arrived?"

"No, we met here."

She felt Zara's eyes on her, seeming to be examining her carefully.

"It's just that you seem quite friendly. Are you fucking him?"

Rey laughed out loud at the suggestion, half offended, half surprised. The woman was brutally forthright but not in a funny way like Gwen. This felt more like an attack.

"No! We barely know each other."

"That never stopped anyone."

She paused, took another sip of her coffee, then slid her hand across the table to take Rey's.

"Look, I hope you'll take this the right way, but I want to warn you to be careful. This isn't going to go anywhere - Kylo doesn't do relationships. And he may not have figured it out yet, but I can tell that you're in way over your head and out of your depth. This would only end badly for you."

Rey tried to read her motives on her pristine features, but it was impossible; Zara was as beautiful and opaque as a statue.

"You don't need to worry - nothing is going on."

As she said the words, it struck her that clearly Zara and Kylo must have some connection outside of The Retreat.

"How do you know each other?" she asked, pulling her hand away to eat a little more of the fruit.

Zara gave her a knowing smile and a little shrug but didn't answer. The woman was maddening.

They continued with a stilted conversation until all the food was gone, and Zara made her excuses and left, leaving Rey alone with her thoughts.

She lingered until Phasma arrived to let her know that she would be able to make dinner after all, and they arranged to meet tonight on the deck for a drink before they departed.

That left Rey with the rest of the day in front of her. She spent it trying to avoid Kylo, given the earlier conversation with Zara, and focused instead on some of the mindfulness exercises her therapist had suggested the day before, envisioning a new future for herself when she returned back to London.

She went for a long walk and made herself run through the exercise, thinking about going back to her flat, getting in front of her preparation to return to school, making a plan to explore other career options, and spending some much-needed time on herself.

There was another part of her life she wanted to invest in too. However off base Zara had been about her and Kylo, it did resurface some of her conversation with the therapist yesterday about her desires for someone in her life romantically. She had a few great friends in Rose, Finn and Poe, but she also wanted the chance to experience a relationship.

Her therapist had assured her that it wasn't that there was no one out there for her, but when you are living in perpetual sadness, as she'd been doing over the last few years, there simply wasn't emotional space to invest in anyone else. She needed to make up for lost time though and start prioritizing that part of her life.

.

As she finished her walk, she vowed to make that space now, ready for her return to the UK.

........................................................

The remainder of the day passed quickly - she went back to the pool to do some lengths and enjoy a little sunshine, then spent a happy hour or so in the large library of the main house, perusing books, reading odd chapters, and finally settling on a new novel to pass the time.

Eventually, she went back to her room, showered, and changed into a dress Mary had lent her. It was a red halter-neck, made from a light fabric, that just brushed the floor, and was complimented by some gold bangles to her arms, and a pair of jeweled sandals to complete the look.

When she arrived at the deck of the main house where they had arranged to meet, she was the last there. Hux, Kylo, Zara and Phasma were already congregated around a tall table, drinks in hand, admiring the view. Phasma waved her over, pulling her into a warm hug when she was close, and then holding her at arm's length to admire the dress.

"Wow Rey," she smirked, giving her another of her trademark winks, "The Caribbean is suiting you. You look luscious, like a tropical flower."

She noticed Hux and Kylo glance over, Kylo quickly looking away, but Hux spent far too long perusing her no-bra breasts in the dress. It made her wish that she had something to hand she could throw at him.

BB met them a few minutes later, and they all climbed into his small van. It struck Rey that for most of the group, this was likely the most insalubrious transport they'd taken in a long while. As far as she could tell, it was just her and Kylo who lived ordinary lives. She knew Phasma by reputation, and it was clear Zara, or whatever her real name was, didn't normally pile into the back of beaten-up transit. Hux was certainly arrogant enough to be famous.

The ride up the coast was brief, barely ten minutes, and BB had called ahead to let them know they were arriving. They were ushered into their own room, overlooking the ocean, careful to avoid the salon full of diners next door. Rey made sure to sit next to Phasma, and as far away from Hux as possible, which left the space on her right free.

It was Hobson's choice who would take the empty chair - if it was Zara, she could look forward to more pointed remarks, oblique questions, and strange warnings, and if it was Kylo, they hadn't spoken since the incident on the beach, the last few words between them had been heated; Rey could live a lifetime without more of his unwanted judgments.

Unfortunately, it was Kylo who took the empty seat.

He barely waited for the starter to be served before turning to her.

"So, about yesterday. I feel I need to clear the air," he said, leaning into her so his voice wouldn't be heard by the others at the table. Rey had to stop herself from rearing backward, to prevent herself from being engulfed by his aftershave and his distractedly enticing scent. The man was a nightmare.

"You seem to be making a habit of needing to apologize to me." she answered quietly, "How about trying not to be an ass-hole in the first place?"

He pulled away a little at her words, clearly annoyed.

"I wasn't apologizing. I just thought we should try and bury the hatchet. That's it."

"Or we could just stay away from each other." Rey countered, although as she said the words, she could feel a strange knot form in her stomach at the thought.

He lent back a little more to study her, and he seemed to be taking his time, his eyes flicking over her face slowly, as if trying to figure her out.

Finally, he answered.

"That's not what I had in mind," he said finally, rearranging the food on his place in an oddly uncertain gesture, "Can we just start again, from scratch, as if we're just meeting now for the first time, and forget everything that went before?"

Rey couldn't help herself, laughing out loud, but looking at him she could tell he was serious. She had no idea why he would suggest such a thing.

"I suppose so."

"Great. I'm Kylo, " he stumbled over the name, a quick reminder that it wasn't his real one, "Nice to meet you."

"Rey." she countered, "Nice to meet you too."

He flashed her a smile, and she ignored the answering pulse from her hormones.

"I suppose we can't do the 'tell me about yourself route' - so I'm trying to figure out what we can talk about without breaking the rules."

"Let's go way back," Rey suggested, "Favourite childhood memory."

Kylo instantly grinned at that.

"That's easy. I was about six, and my mom was home from one of her many trips, and she'd promised me that we'd spend the afternoon together, so we went down to the river near our house, waded in up to our waists, and tried to catch fish with our hands. Failed completely and eventually, my dad came along with some fishing rods, and all three of us spent a few hours together as a family."

Rey watched him carefully, he was smiling, but there was something about his eyes that told her there was more to the story. Before she could ask, he said

"Your turn."

She thought for a little and recalled a moment when her mother had been well, before problems with her health had been their constant companion.

"I was about the same age, maybe a little younger and we went down to Brighton on the train, spent the day on the beach. I hid in the sand dunes for hours and they had to eventually call the police to find me."

He looked at her, stunned.

"That's your favorite memory? Getting lost and calling the cops?" he questioned, "Although why am I not surprised..."

"My mum was so relieved she bought me as much ice cream as I could eat on the way home - so there's that."

They were smiling at each other when Zara, who was sitting opposite them both, called over.

"Seems we're missing out on a good conversation, what are you talking about? Tell the rest of us."

Rey watched Kylo send her an annoyed glance, and she had a fleeting thought that he might be the only man on the planet who seemed immune to her beauty.

"Nothing interesting." he replied, "You'd find it very dull."

The answer clearly didn't satisfy her, but she let it go, turning to the waiter to order another glass of wine.

Kylo seemed to relax when she dropped the topic, and turned back to Rey, fixing her again with his gaze.

"Can I ask, what bought you here?" he spoke quietly as if to avoid being heard by Zara.

The question was skirting the line of the rules, but Rey decided not to care for once.

"I.... lost someone...." she explained, "Someone important that I loved. It was a while ago, but I need some help putting my life back together again."

She was shocked when he reached over to take her hand, holding it tightly in his, but he was careful not to ask her to explain more. They stayed like that in silence for a while.

"I'm sorry." Kylo said finally and his thumb was lightly, soothingly, caressing the knuckles of her hand. She watched it, mesmerized.

"You?" she asked

"I was burnt out so I came here to get back on track."

"Is it working?"

She watched him think about it for a moment.

"I wasn't sure at the beginning, but maybe it is." he sounded surprised as if realizing something for the first time and gave her an open smile that made her heart seize slightly.

"How about you?"

Rey was about to reply when Phasma turned towards them both.

"You two look very cozy," she teased, "If you're supposed to dislike each other, you'll have to work a little harder to convince us all." and she pointedly looked down at their hands, where Kylo was still lightly stroking her fingers.

He looked down too and immediately released his hold, pushing his chair a little further back from her to put some distance between them leaving Rey feeling oddly bereft.

"I know you like to gossip Phasma, I mean Gwen, but keep us out of it." he said, his voice friendly, but cold, "The last thing either of us needs are rumors."

It was an odd remark - of all the people sitting around the table, she couldn't imagine anyone would care less about what an accountant and a school teacher got up to when one of the most famous young directors in Hollywood was sitting in their proximity. And heaven knows what Zara really did. She was dressed as usual in a catsuit, this one made of some kind of metallic fabric that looked like an oil spill, and it clung to every single inch of her incredible body. There was no way this woman was anything other than famous.

'Fair enough, Mr K," Phasma agreed, getting up from the table and waving to the nearby waiter, "Time for a celebration. I've ordered us some champagne, well most of us anyway," she nodded at Kylo,

"Let's do a toast." she said, standing up, holding out her glass, "To the beautiful island of Barbados, and the beautiful people we've met here."

The remainder of the meal was spent in easy conversation, with Rey and Kylo not speaking to each other again, under the watchful eye of both Phasma and Zara. Around midnight, BB arrived and they returned to The Retreat, and after a few goodnights, they all made their own way back to their rooms.

Rey found herself walking back with Kylo, through the gardens, the path lit by small lanterns. The heat of the evening was relaxing, especially combined with the light buzz in her head from the last glass of champagne, and she let herself think about the man walking alongside her.

Kylo might be an arrogant ass-hole, but getting to know him a little better had taken the edge off her dislike, and there had even been moments during the evening when she'd almost warmed to him. It made him even more physically attractive to her, annoyingly, to a point when she found it hard to concentrate on the conversation around her because she was too busy admiring the ridiculous fall of his hair, or the crazy breadth of his shoulders, or the chest that if he pulled her towards him, he could easily engulf her in his arms. It was maddening.

When they reached the staircase to her room, he paused, as if weighing up what to do next, and then finally spoke.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, much to Rey's surprise, to the point where she laughed out loud.

"Are you serious?" she asked, incredulous, "We don't even like each other."

"I know." he agreed, "That's what makes it fun."

He stepped a little closer towards her and leaned slightly towards her until his lips were inches from her mouth.

Whatever the confusion in her head, Rey's body responded immediately to his proximity, and she felt her pulse start beating wildly, desire leaping instantly to life.

He was watching her intently, his arm moving forward until his fingers barely brushed her waist.

"So, can I?"

"Mhmm." was all she managed, accompanied by a little nod.

She expected him to move in for the kill, but he didn't. Instead, his fingers made contact with her hips on either side, pulling her gently towards him until she was so close to his body that she could feel his warmth, but without touching. He left one of his hands resting in the small of her back, gently pulling her closer, and the other traveled up her spine until it reached her neck, entwining its way through her hair to rest against her skin.

Her lips had parted of their own volition, and she could feel herself arching towards him as if she was presenting herself to him, almost begging him to kiss her. He waited for another second or so, and then his lips were on hers, so gently at first that she moaned in frustration, whilst enjoying the feel of him slowly press against her mouth. She felt him smile at the sound she made, and then he was more earnest, his lips parting hers, and she could tell that they were both surprised by the instant heat they generated between them. What started as a gentle touch quickly escalated, until she was trying to press every part of her body against him, and he was insistently holding her still by the pressure of his hands so that he could have her exactly how he wanted.

Eventually, Kylo pulled away, looking as stunned as she felt, but keeping his hands on her, as if to stop her moving away.

"My room or yours?"


	7. Chapter 7

Kylo waited for her reply, watching her thoughts flicker across her face. It was such a change to be with someone who made no effort at all to hide what they were thinking.

And Rey was clearly confused, and honestly, he was a little confused too.

The kiss had been - well - unexpected. All evening he'd been thinking about it, wondering what it would be like to kiss her, battling with his mind that kept telling him that it was the worst idea in the world, last thing he needed was to mess with his head, get involved, get distracted, but when it came down to it, he'd caved.

It had been worth it though. And now all he wanted was to take her to bed, carry on exploring her, find out what she liked, and give it to her, over and over again.

Finally, she seemed to make up her mind.

"I can't." she said, shaking her head slowly, as if persuading herself, not meeting his eye, her words stilted "I mustn't. I need to go to bed. Now. Goodnight." and with that she quickly walked up the stairs to her room, shutting the door behind her.

Ben stood watching her for a moment, before making his way into his own room and lying on the bed.

It was a very new feeling, rejection.

When Rey's door shut behind her, she decided she'd made a terrible mistake.

Here was life, handing her a no-strings-attached holiday fling, that might be just the tonic she needed to feel alive again, and she'd turned him down.

Yes, he could be a bit of a jerk and yes, there was no future in it - he would go back to accountancy in Ohio, and she would go back to school teaching in London.

But he was also the most attractive man she'd met in forever, almost to the point where she couldn't think clearly when he was around, and she'd never, ever had a physical response like this to someone before.

She threw off her clothes, stripping down to just her panties, and stomped around her room, going back and forth on her decision. On the tenth circuit, she heard a loud banging noise from the balcony and rushed over to the windows, throwing them open to investigate, and peering out into the darkness.

There below her was the unmistakable form of Kylo, having just climbed into the huge hot tub on his ground floor patio, silhouetted in the light from his bedroom. He was spread out in the water, feet at one end, head resting on the rim at the other, floating and looking up at the night sky.

He must have seen her because he called up "Why don't you join me? I promise I'll be good."

Hesitating for another handful of seconds, she made up her mind and called out, "On my way."

Rey pulled on the bikini from the first day they met, threw on her robe, and made her way downstairs, walking around the back of the building. Kylo was there, waiting in the hot tub, and there was just enough light to see that he'd made a space for her next to him.

She dropped the robe, and he held out his hand to help her in and guided her into the seat.

"I'm not fucking you." she blurted out, as the hot water covered her, "I just want you to know so there are no misunderstandings later."

"Roger that." he said, leaning back and letting the water cover his body, "No sex. Noted."

Rey glanced over at him, his eyes were shut, and she let herself take a lingering look at him unnoticed, reminding herself of how their earlier kiss had made her toes curl.

"Good. Just wanted to make sure you understood."

"I one hundred percent understand that you don't much like me, and don't want to fuck. Got it Rey. I don't think my ego can take any more reminding though, so can we drop it?" he said, and he opened his eyes to glance upwards.

"Ok" she answered softly, and lent back next to him, until her head was about a foot from his, and also looked up into the sky overhead.

There weren't many lights around them, so the view of the stars was incredible and clear in the dark. Rey lay there, letting the hot water lap over her, trying to remember anything about constellations.

Eventually, Kylo broke the silence.

"I used to spend quite a bit of time staring at the sky when I was a kid. My dad loved astronomy, still does, he has a huge telescope outside his ranch that he tracks the movement of the stars and planets most nights."

"You'll be lucky if you can see the moon in London, with all the light we have going on," Rey said, "What can you see?"

She watched as he studied the sky for a little while.

"Little hard to orient myself, I'm used to the view from up north, but you can see Mars really clearly tonight - can you see the larger red circle down on the left?" she followed the direction of his hand as he pointed, "It's just risen a few minutes ago, so the view will just keep getting better as it goes."

She had to squint a little, but finally, she found it, a faint reddish circle, larger than the stars around it.

"Yep, I can see it."

"Well, follow that up to the brightest star and you can just about make out the Milky Way, stretching overhead."

They lay next to each other for another ten minutes or so, alternating between Kylo pointing out new stars in the sky, and floating in silence and just letting the noises of the evening and the darkness wash over them.

As they lay there, Rey thought again about kissing him, how good it had felt, like her body was waking up from sleep and coming to life. Would it really be that bad to kiss him again? Just because she wasn't sure she liked him and was pretty sure he wasn't that into her either?

It was very hard to figure out. To add to her confusion, she realized that if her only encounter with Kylo had been based on the last twenty minutes, she would have had the start of an epic crush on him, having him tell her stories about the stars, floating in the warm water, in a hot tub, inches from his rather perfect body.

Her desire won over her reservations, and she decided to take the plunge.

"How about kissing again?" she asked, not looking at him but staring up ahead.

She heard him take in a deep breath, and roll a little towards her.

"So, my plan to seduce you with my tried and tested 'constellation seduction' routine worked eh?" he replied, and Rey laughed out loud, turning a little towards him too until they were nearly facing each other in the water.

"Yes or no?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"I think yes,"

and he reached out towards her, pulling her gently through the water, leaning back on the seat until she was sitting on his lap.

"Does this work?" he asked, watching her carefully, and when she nodded, he pulled her a little closer and found her lips.

Just like earlier, he took his time, and just like last time, he was a great kisser, quickly igniting her desire, until Rey's hands were on his broad back, sliding along his skin and pushing against his muscles to encourage him.

But unlike last time, it wasn't enough. Her whole body felt unsatisfied, her breast ached, her skin was on fire, and between her legs, she felt a painful emptiness.

Kylo seemed oblivious though and spent all his energy kissing her, not moving his hands from where they rested on her waist.

Soon her frustration bubbled over.

"Can you touch me?" Rey asked, pulling back from his mouth, and she knew she must look desperate

She felt his fingers flex a little on her waist.

"You're going to have to tell me what you want," he said softly, still leaning back, "Or better yet, show me."

She immediately took his hand from her waist, pulling it upwards along her body, until his fingers made contact with the tip of one of her nipples through the material of her bikini.

"You want me to touch you here?" he murmured,

"Mhmm" she nodded, and he did, the gentlest of strokes, just over the peak, and where he touched her it felt like burning. She sighed in frustration and reached behind to undo the bikini, struggling with the ties, until he moved to help her, pulling the material away, and then running both hands along the line of her ribs until they stopped just below her breasts, then his thumbs stroked along each nipple whilst his fingers cupped her flesh with the perfect pressure.

It was exactly what she craved, and she shut her eyes and moaned in appreciation.

"Is that what you wanted?" he asked softly, "Is there anything else you need Rey?"

Rey enjoyed the sensation for another few moments and then opened her eyes to look at him. She couldn't tell in the dark whether he was as turned on as she was, although each time she moved a little in his lap, she wondered if that was the pressure of his cock she could feel. His eyes were watching her intently, glittering in the darkness.

It spurred her on.

This time she didn't speak, but instead, she put her hand over his and moved it down her stomach, guiding him slowly, feeling his fingers dig in a little to her muscles, and she kept going, through the water, until they reached the top of her bikini bottoms where they paused.

He didn't move any further, and so she took control, pressing his fingers onwards beneath the material so that he was against her flesh, and then down until he was resting against the top of her slit.

"Can you take it from here?" she asked, and she could hear how desperate her voice sounded, "Or do you need me to show you the way?"

She could see him smile through the darkness.

"I can take it from here Rey." he responded, and his fingers carried on, running along her skin, through the folds of flesh until they found her clit, "You just need to tell me if you want me to do something different."

But there was no need. She was so turned on that as soon as he touched her clit, she felt the heat between her legs intensify. It helped that he was expert at this, instinctively knowing exactly what she liked, not going too hard, but not too soft either, taking time now and again to swirl around the outside of her clit, before returning with the perfect pressure to the bundle of nerves until she was panting, her fingers digging into his shoulders with encouragement.

And then she came, mouth falling open, the spasms in her cunt shocking in their intensity, and she could hear herself crying out, until she had to put a hand to her own mouth to muffle the sound. 

Kylo held her throughout, pulling her in closer as she shook, keeping his hand still so as not to disturb the sensations, and when she was done, he lent back further until her whole body was pressed against him.

They lay like that for a few minutes, until Rey's breathing had nearly returned to normal.

Kylo was first to break the silence.

"I suppose we better get out," he said quietly, moving his hand slowly from between her legs "before we both overheat." and it brought Rey back down to earth with the realization that they'd been in the hot water far too long.

She nodded, and he helped her stand, before gently tying her bikini top back into place. When they were out of the hot tub Kylo picked up her robe from the side, pulling it around her, and then led her to the stairs up to her room.

They climbed them together slowly, and when they reached her door, he spoke again.

"I'll see you in the morning Rey. Sleep well." and with that he left.

.....................................................

The blaring of her alarm work Rey, an unwelcome intrusion into her deep sleep. She shuffled out of bed, pulling on her leggings and t shirt, and stumbled through the dark to the main building.

BB seemed to sense her need for peace, because for once he drove her in silence, winding down the windows of the old van so that they were buffeted by the slightly cooler air of the pre-dawn morning.

It gave Rey some much-needed time to get her head together. She'd gone to sleep last night almost immediately after Kylo had left, crawling into bed in her bikini and curling up into a tight ball, and so only now was she able to process what had happened.

She replayed in her mind the events of the evening and wrestled with her thoughts. They were mostly just confused, unsure what to make of how things had progressed. That kiss, followed by more kisses, followed by him exploring her like an expert, and giving her the first-ever orgasm she'd not created by herself.

He'd not behaved at all how she'd expected either. Kylo was clearly an arrogant, selfish, controlling, ass-hole, so why had he taken such care giving her pleasure, and why had he not asked for any in return?

It was baffling, and only he had the answers.

Should she seek him out this morning? Try and find him to talk? Or should she pretend nothing happened and just carry on as before?

Her time for reflection came to an end when they arrived at the market, and this time they spent a little longer wandering amongst the stalls before the short drive back to The Retreat.

Rey carried on in her distracted state in the kitchen, chopping the fruit so slowly that Mary took the knife from her and ordered her to grab a coffee and wait on the deck with the other guests. 

She followed instructions and found a small table all to herself, nursing the warm drink and picking at her breakfast, lost in thought as she watched the sun rise in the sky.

"Can I sit down?"

Of course, it was him, Kylo, standing over her, carrying a cup of coffee. He looked disheveled as if he hadn't slept all night, and he was wearing the same faded grey t-shirt she remembered from that first time they'd met by the pool.

Rey nodded, moving her plate a little to make some room, and he grabbed a stool from nearby and joined her.

Her concerns about what she would say when she met him again were quickly put to rest. The answer was 'nothing'. They sat in silence, Rey sipping her drink, Kylo tearing into some bread as if he hated it, and occasionally rubbing his face or running his hand through his messy hair as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

It was less than flattering if she thought about it. His demeanor was not of a man who'd spent a pleasurable hour or so kissing her in a hot tub and was looking for a repeat performance.

It was the opposite - he looked like a man who was about to let her down easy and just didn't know how to begin.

The thought spurred her into action and she pushed back her stool and stood up to leave.

Immediately Kylo reached out to grab her wrist.

"Don't go. We need to talk." he sounded insistent.

"I'm not sure we do." she countered, "We don't need to mention last night ever again."

He looked at her, shocked, his grip on her wrist tightening a little.

"That's not what I meant."

Rey pulled a little on her arm, and he must have realized how tightly he was holding her, as he immediately let go.

"Can we just talk for a few minutes? That's all. Please." 

After another moment's hesitation, Rey sat back down and waved at Mary to get more coffee. When the refill arrived, she thanked her and turned to Kylo.

"Ok. Let's do this. What do you want to say?"

He was doing that thing with his hair again, running his fingers through it, but eventually, he stopped and took a deep breath.

"Thanks for staying. I've been thinking about last night. It would be a really bad idea if we got involved...."

Rey immediately cut him off.

"Who says I want to be involved?" she countered.

"Just hear me out. Please Rey." he sounded a little desperate. "I was up all night with some work stuff, and it gave me plenty of time to think about things. And I think it would be a risk if we let it go any further."

"A risk?" she asked, confused.

"Yes. For both of us. We're both here to figure out stuff, and we've both got lives to go back to. And the last thing we need is to add fuel for the gossip sites."

That comment made Rey laugh out loud. What gossip site would ever be interested in the two of them? Being around all these celebrities must be going to his head.

He stopped talking, surprised, but she motioned to him to carry on.

"So, all things considered, I think we should just stay friends."

Kylo sat back, waiting for her to reply, and eventually, she did.

"Ok."

"Ok?" he sounded surprised.

"Ok." she affirmed, "That kiss last night was fine, but if you thought I was going to argue with you, or try and persuade you otherwise, your ego really is out of control."

"It was hardly just a kiss," he corrected, sounding offended, "And this isn't about my ego, it's about trying to look after you."

Rey had had enough, and this time when she pushed back her chair, she made sure to stay out of arm's reach. Sure enough, he immediately stood up too, but she was able to step quickly out of his way.

"Message received and understood. Enjoy your breakfast." and she took off back to her room.


	8. Chapter 8

Rey tried very hard to not let Kylo's rejection affect her.

She left the deck, went back to her room and changed for her relaxation therapy. It helped, throwing herself into the process of movements and salutations, feeling herself let her anxieties go, and focus on a better future for herself.

By the end of the hour, she was ready to face the day. She sent a few quick texts to Rose, Finn, and Poe, went for a long run, finding a different route and careful to avoid the gym, hell-bent on shunning Kylo, and then met Phasma for lunch.

They picked a table out of the way at the edge of the deck, sheltered by some overhanging branches from a tall baobab tree in the garden below them; Phasma, Rey had quickly discovered, loved to gossip, and wanted to ensure they wouldn't be overheard.

She immediately launched into an update on her life.

"Been on calls all morning - real life is encroaching far too much these days," she sighed, "Don't want to even think about returning home. If I could, I'd stay here for another month."

"Why don't you?" Rey asked, "I'm sure Maz has space."

Phasma smiled at her kindly.

"Not that simple I'm afraid. I have commitments, and big fat contracts to make sure I keep them. Getting this week off was a negotiation, but fortunately, I have a 'good health' clause my lawyers could invoke."

She must have noticed Rey's concerned expression.

"It's fine, really. I'm getting itchy feet as it is, so don't worry about me. How about you, when do you have to head back?"

"Three more days," Rey answered sadly. The week had gone far too fast, and real-life was beckoning.

Phasma thumped the table.

"For fuck's sake! Three days! We need to make the most of every moment." she had a huge grin on her face, rubbing her hands in glee "Let's see - we'll go on a tour of the coast - get some Bajan rum to drink - stuff our faces with seafood - and of course - holiday fling."

Phasma put her hands together in contemplation and then said

"We can do the first three all at the same time - I'll organize something for tomorrow. For the fling though - you'll need to take charge of that. Any ideas?" she pulled her gold mirrored sunglasses down her nose and gave her a mischievous stare.

Rey grimaced

"None. I think I'll have to leave that off my list."

"Nonsense!" Phasma laughed, "It's obligatory. Unless you're already well served in that department." she gave her another once over, "Although, if I had to guess, I'd say it's been a long while..."

That made Rey laugh out loud.

"You can't tell by looking at someone how much sex they're having!" she countered, "That's ridiculous."

"Am I wrong?" Phasma tipped her head

Rey thought briefly about lying but it seemed a bit pointless.

"No, I guess not. Frighteningly accurate actually." Rey ran her fingers along her glass reflectively.

"And would you like to?" Phasma must have sensed it was a touchy subject because her tone had turned much kinder.

Rey nodded.

"Yes, definitely. A fling would be nice, a relationship would be better though."

"Let's start with the fling." Phasma pushed her sunglasses back over her eyes and looked around the deck. "Hmmm. Where to start? There's BB of course."

Rey interrupted her immediately. "No way, he's far too nice, probably has a wife and four kids."

"You're right," she continued, "Need someone a bit more edgy." she nodded her head in the direction of Hux who was sitting at a table at the far end of the deck.

"There's edgy, and there's idiot." Rey grimaced

"Right, right. You do need to have standards." Phasma agreed, "So where does that leave us?" 

Of course, at exactly that moment, Rey saw Kylo climbing up the steps from the garden and walking onto the deck. He'd obviously been swimming, his hair was a little wet, his clothes damp and clinging to his frame. Not fair really, Rey thought, to look that gorgeous with no effort at all.

Phasma spotted him too.

"Or there's Kylo. How could we forget Kylo?" she smiled, and Rey realized by the look on her face this was where the conversation had been leading to all along, "What about him Rey? You seem to have chemistry, and he's certainly in to you."

"Not going to happen." Rey answered quickly, "You can give up now."

Phasma looked perplexed. "Why not? What's not to like? Tall, brooding, occasional bad temper, but sexy as hell. He'd see you right in bed."

Rey could feel herself blushing furiously, and Phasma noticed immediately.

"Don't tell me - you've already fucked."

"No!" Rey said hastily, too loudly, glad that there weren't any other diners nearby.

The other woman gave her a very studied look.

"Ok. Spill. Clearly there's more to this than 'no'."

"Nothing to tell. I promise."

"So, you've kissed him?" Phasma queried, and then, "You couldn't have gone any redder if you tried so - kiss, tick. What else..." she went on, pausing, looking over Rey carefully, "I'm guessing something more but you stopped before sex. Am I right?"

Rey nodded, then leaned in a little so that there was no chance of them being overheard.

"We kissed, and stuff. But after the... stuff.... he said we should just be friends."

Phasma looked surprised.

"Is that all he said, just that you should be friends?"

"Not exactly. There was some guff about trying to protect me, although from what is anybody's guess, and it would be a mistake yada yada yada." she explained, watching as Kylo grabbed some food from the buffet. "It was your usual rejection speech."

He turned to go back to his table, and noticed them sitting there. Rey's heart fell as he hesitated before making his way over to their table, and stood in front of them.

"Afternoon Gwen, Rey," he sounded formal, his voice stiff

"Kylo! What a surprise!" Phasma lept up to kiss him on each cheek as if they hadn't just been talking about him seconds ago, "Come, join us."

Kylo gave Rey a very apologetic look, which she refused to return, and reluctantly sat down with them. He was openly staring at Rey, and it spurred Phasma into action.

"Right, I'm off. Things to do. See you both later." and to Rey's disbelief, she was up and gone, leaving the two of them alone.

Rey decided her best course of action was to sit out the silence, so she did, eating the last few mouthfuls of her lunch.

After a few minutes, he spoke.

"I think I was a bit heavy-handed earlier - I'm not that great with words. But I really did mean it about the friendship - I'd still like to spend time together if that's something you'd be up for."

He looked at her so earnestly, she could feel her anger from earlier slipping away. It was hardly his fault that he didn't want her sexually, however humiliating she found it, and she had enjoyed his company, at least the times when they hadn't been arguing. And if she was honest with herself, those arguments had been a bit of a turn on...

She shook her head lightly to clear her thoughts and then replied.

"What did you have in mind?"

He smiled at her then, looking sincerely happy.

"Trust me."

................................................

Rey went back to her room to change, looking through the last few remaining clean clothes from the bottom of the bag, that fitted the description of 'suitable for hiking and swimming. It was slim pickings - there were only a few pieces left - and so she had to settle for a lilac-coloured boob tube which sparkled ominously under the lights of her room, and a fluorescent green skort. She pulled them on over a silver bikini that she found crumpled at the bottom - it was made from a material that closely resembled aluminum foil.

Avoiding looking in the mirror, she wandered back to the main building where she was meeting Kylo. He was waiting for her, sitting in a tiny black 4x4 that looked like a children's toy.

"Don't say anything," he grimaced, "This was all they had left."

She watched as his eyes flicked over her outfit, and he started to speak before she interrupted him.

"Don't say anything either." she ordered, climbing into the front seat and throwing her rucksack behind her, "Let's go!"

They drove for a while, straight across the center of the island. Rey wound down the windows of the little SUV and tuned the radio to the station that she and BB listened to every morning, happily singing along to the local tunes while Kylo looked at her in astonishment.

"How on earth do you know all these songs?" he asked, totally perplexed, but Rey refused to answer, instead turning up the radio and singing a little louder

After twenty minutes, they pulled into a quiet road, parked up, and Kylo pulled a large black bag from the backseat and slung it over his shoulder.

"Ready for a hike?"

They set off, walking along a quiet, dusty path, and in the distance, Rey could see the ocean about a mile or so ahead of them which they reached after about twenty minutes. They scrambled across some scrubland, and then finally found a path that led down to a small secluded bay, with a stretch of deserted beach only about fifty feet wide.

"I'm reliably told no one comes here during the week." Kylo explained, "The tourists can't face the hike, so we should have the place all to ourselves."

Sure enough, when they reached the sand, there was no one in sight, just the pristine blue of the ocean which formed a small inlet, protected by a coral reef a little distance out.

Kylo dropped the large bag on the ground and started unpacking. He pulled out a container of water, which Rey gratefully drank in one gulp, some snorkeling gear, and a couple of wet-suit tops, holding the smaller one out to Rey.

"We should wear these - the sun get's really strong this time of day but the water isn't all that warm this side of the island."

He started stripping off almost immediately, pulling his ubiquitous black t-shirt over his head in a practiced movement, and Rey only let herself glance very briefly at him, but that quick look brought immediately back to her mind the image of him as he'd sat in the hot tub. The ridiculously wide chest, the arms that looked like he could lift you up above his head, but didn't have that 'made in the gym' bulk, and most enticing of all, that fine line of dark hair that ran from his flat, ribbed stomach down under his shorts, with this 'come and get it' vibe.

Instead, she made herself concentrate on stripping off herself. It barely took ten seconds, given the stupid boob tube was about six inches wide, and the skort came down with similar speed, leaving her standing in the bikini from hell.

Kylo didn't seem to have the same reservations about looking at her. He was openly staring as if transfixed by the horror in front of him.

"Got something to say about my bikini?" she asked, feeling that old annoyance rising to the surface, "If so, you can keep it to yourself."

He shook his head, still staring.

"Good. Throw me that shirt." and he did. Rey slid it over her head, grabbed the snorkeling equipment, pulling on the fins, and started wading into the waves.

When she was up to her waist, Kylo joined her, standing alongside them as they walked into the ocean.

"Are you a strong swimmer?" he asked, as they started treading water, and when Rey nodded, continued, "Good. The waves are a bit fiercer on this side of the island. We're going to swim round out to the reef and then over to the next bay where it's quieter. Just hold the snorkel gear and wave if you have any problems."

He took off swimming, long powerful strokes that quickly took him out into the swell, and Rey followed behind, glad for all those afternoons her mum had taken her to the local pool. Even so, she had to put in some effort to keep up with him, but it was worth it for the feeling of exhilaration and excitement.

Once they cleared the reef, it became calmer, the rolling waves turning into gentle swells, and Kylo paused to put on his snorkeling gear, before motioning her to do the same. She pulled on the mask and snorkel, settling it in her mouth, and followed him over to the calmer water.

The next half an hour was magical, diving with Kylo under the water to observe the parrotfish, seahorses, and damselfish that swam in and out of view. Just as they had started to work their way back to the beach, three leatherback turtles crossed their path, gliding just below the surface in a little group. Kylo and Rey paused, floating on the spot to better observe them, and watched as they swam around them in formation before eventually swimming away, propelled by their webbed feet.

As soon as they left, Rey swam to the surface and pulled off her mask.

"I can't believe we saw them," she felt giddy with delight, "They were so beautiful, and we're incredibly lucky to see a group together!"

"I wasn't sure this would be your thing," Kylo said, sounding surprised

"Why on earth not?" she looked at him as she trod water, "We've just seen a family group of largest turtle on the planet, a sadly endangered species, and they swam a few inches from my face. It was incredible."

He gave her the oddest look, as if she had just sprouted horns on her head, and seemed to shake his head in disbelief, before asking if she was ready to head back.

They swam slowly back to shore, letting the tide push them onto the beach, and finally hit the sand, pulling off their fins to walk back to where Kylo had hidden their bag by a rocky outcrop.

He pulled out their water bottles and clothes from earlier, and handed both to Rey, before taking a seat on a rock and drinking deeply from his flask.

Rey decided to change, pulling the neoprene top up and slowly peeling it over her skin. It had become ridiculously tight now it was wet, and she struggled to even get it a few inches up her body. She persevered, wriggling and pulling until it was up past her stomach and then she became stuck, the top clinging to her shoulders like a vice, her arms halfway above her head, and her face enveloped by the material.

"Need a hand?" she heard Kylo offer, but she continued to struggle before eventually surrendering and letting out a muffled "yes please."

She stopped moving and heard him approach, standing next to her on the sand.

"Ok if I touch you?" he asked quietly, and she nodded and added "Not sure how else we're going to do this!"

Next thing she felt his hands on her skin, touching her so lightly she could barely feel it, gliding up to the base of the shirt and gently trying to coax it free where it had bunched up around her boobs, running his fingers under the hem until he could get a purchase, and then gently pulling up. She knew he was consciously trying to avoid touching her anywhere intimate, but even so, the feeling of his skin against hers was intoxicating.

After another few seconds of maneuvering, he was so much taller than her that he was able to slowly pull it over her head, and with a gentle tug, he released her until she was left standing in front of him, wet hair streaming down her back.

Her bikini top had ridden up dangerously until half her breasts were on display, and she hastily pulled it back down into place, before wrapping her arms around her body and looking up to meet his gaze.

"You have no idea how hard I'm working right now not to ask if I can kiss you again." he said, his voice taking on the husky quality she remembered from the night before, "Really. Fucking. Hard." he added emphatically, stepping a little closer towards her.

Rey's hormones had lept into life, just like before, as if someone had flooded her body with crazy desire that overwhelmed her senses. A little voice in her head told her that she should be saying no, that he'd hurt her feelings, but it was totally drowned out by the lion's roar of lust. It made her step a little closer, until she was almost touching him, her hand hovering inches from his chest.

His hands reached out, pulling her towards him until his body was once again pressed tightly against his, and he pulled her head towards him, kissed her, thoroughly, expertly, giving her exactly what she wanted, and leaving her wanting so much more.

When they paused for breath, this time Rey took the lead, placing her hands on his chest, letting her fingers run along his flesh, enjoying the feel of his muscles, the sharp inhalation as her hands moved lower, until they rested on the top of his shorts, her fingers lightly touching the trail of hair that she'd admired earlier, waiting for his agreement.

He kissed her again, more fiercely this time, before breaking away and taking her with him, until they were sheltered by a group of rocks to the side of the cove. Kylo lent back against the outcrop, pulling Rey back into his arms, and continuing to kiss her. She ran her fingers down his body again, back to his shorts, this time not hesitating but pushing her fingers under the waistband, to find his flesh. His cock was hard, standing to attention, and she took a moment before touching him, then her fingers moved to grip him, lacing around his thickness until she heard him moan in encouragement.

A thought flashed through Rey's mind that he was nothing like her singular experience at college, which was a clumsy fumble on the way home from the pub, this was all man, and due to his size, an intimidating one at that. She didn't dwell on it though, instead enjoying the sensation of touching him, and she didn't worry about her technique either, because from the sounds he was making, and the increasingly tight grip from his hands on her arse, she was doing just fine. Rey's other hand joined the first, and using them both, she stroked him, sliding up and down his cock, still damp from the ocean, spurred on by his quiet words of encouragement and the way he thickened further in her hands until she wondered how that was even possible. From there, it didn't take long for him to cum, she felt every muscle in his body tense with his release, and then the feel of his seed on her fingers as he pulsed.

They stood in silence, the sounds of both of their breathing drowned out by the ocean, and then Kylo kissed her gently, and picked her up in to his arms before walking then both back into the water where he let the waves wash them clean.


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo was losing the plot. All of his resolutions had flown out the window, not to kiss her, not to get involved, especially not with someone who existed in the same murky world he did.

He was doing just fine for the first hour or so - they'd fallen into an easy banter, almost like a friendship, on the drive over. And even when she'd stripped down to that bikini of hers - her lean, beautiful body with the small, real, breasts that drove him crazy, the long athletic legs that propelled her through the ocean - he'd mostly kept his cool. Even her astounding encyclopedic knowledge of the ocean life of Barbados and her total lack of artifice as she'd enjoyed the swim he made himself ignore.

It wasn't until he helped her off with that fucking top, standing so close to her, he'd noticed the smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks and felt his resolve crumble. No one had freckles in L.A. - every bit of real was airbrushed away - and somehow it made all the bricks of his willpower fall away too.

At least she'd had the sense to suggest they went back, after the encounter by the rocks. She kissed him one last time and then waded back to shore, thrown on her clothes, and started walking back to the car, not even waiting to see if he was following behind.

Ben tried hard to return to that friendly banter they'd had on the drive to the beach, but it was almost impossible. The air was heavy with tension, and he wondered continuously what was going through her mind.

At every point of their short relationship, it had been misunderstandings and confusion. He'd had to overwrite his impression of her time and time again, and she had likely, hopefully, had to do the same, starting with that first encounter by the pool, when he'd believed she was another one of the groupies who thought they owned him because of the band, and he'd behaved like a total idiot.

He looked over at her as they drove, catching the edge of her profile as she stared out the window. He wasn't even sure anymore about who she was. Hux and Bazine assured him they'd seen her on-line - with some huge following likely based on the usual combo of bikini shots and travel poses - but he was starting to have his doubts about even that. She was a beautiful woman, fair enough, but for the rest, there was none of the other drama that typically went with that lifestyle, and he'd barely seen her with a phone in her hand which seemed very odd for someone who made their living that way.

When they arrived at The Retreat, Ben's mind was made up, and he pulled the jeep into the car park, under the trees and out of the sun. Rey moved to leave the car but he stopped her, arm reaching out.

"Can we talk for a minute before you go?" he asked

"Haven't we been doing that?" Rey replied, her tone light

"I mean about earlier." he added

She turned a little towards him in her seat, beaming smile on her face although it didn't reach her eyes.

"We can cut to the chase if you like?" she suggested, "I think I've heard it all before. You made a mistake, we shouldn't have done that, blah blah blah. Honestly Kylo, you need to come up with a new approach, this one is getting old."

He shook his head.

"The opposite in fact. I'm thinking you should let me take you to bed."

For a second he enjoyed the look of supreme surprise on her face, and when she opened her mouth, no words came out.

So he quickly jumped in.

"Yes. I know I'm blowing hot and cold. My life is a bit complicated..."

Rey interrupted immediately.

"If you're in a relationship, you can stop right there because..."

He interrupted her back.

"Not that kind of complicated. Just the kind of complicated that means this is going to go nowhere once we leave here."

She watched him carefully, sitting back a little in her car seat, and moving a few stray strands of her hair, that had started to curl delightfully round her face, out of her eyes.

"I'll come to your room after dinner tomorrow." she said finally, opening the car door and stepping out into the sunshine, "See you then."

...............................................................................

Rey desperately wanted to ask someone for advice, what to do next, how to understand her own emotions, but when she ran through the options in her mind, she concluded she had to keep her own counsel. Phasma was the only one that she could talk to here, and she already knew what her advice would be - jump Kylo's bones.

And maybe it was that simple? Maybe that's all it needed to be? Finding some companionship, and hopefully pleasure, for her last few days here in the sun before she returned back to reality.

The week had been exactly as she'd hoped it would be. That imagery one of the therapists had talked about - refilling her internal well of positive emotions - was actually happening much to her surprise. She had arrived in Barbados feeling worn out, wrung out, and mostly sad, and after eight days, Rey was now waking up with a feeling of happiness, and optimism for her future. Yes, she still thought about her mum all the time, but with the help of the experts here, that was now mostly happy memories, and gratitude for the time they'd had together.

She was able to turn her attention to her life back home, and could see some changes ahead. She was going to give teaching one more year, a year when she would see if she could find the balance and satisfaction she craved. If not, she was committed to change.

And as part of that year, she was going to insist on some balance in her life. More time with her friends, more time to focus on herself, and yes, she was sure of it now, she wanted a relationship - someone in her life romantically.

So that brought her back to the question of what next with Kylo. Her hormones were telling her exactly what she needed to do - he'd given her a little taste of pleasure, and now her body wanted more. It was like her sexual alter ego had been awakened, and now all it wanted was to be fully satisfied, to the point where her mind kept jumping out of her thoughts back to images of him in the ocean, or how he'd kissed her, or of his delightful cock, that she'd barely seen, and how it might feel inside her.

But there was also a niggling doubt in her mind - she was starting to worry that walking away from him at the end of all this in a short few days might be more difficult than she hoped.

...........................................................

She spent her final day in Barbados with Gwen, driving all around the island, chauffeured by BB, until they'd exhausted themselves seeing every beach, swimming in every deserted cove, and trying every version of Rum the island had to offer.

Finally, they'd exchanged numbers, with a mutual promise to keep in touch, and to one day rendezvous again at The Retreat. Phasma's parting words to her were, "Take a chance. He's one of the good ones, Rey."

Maz had arranged for a family-style farewell dinner in the large kitchen and invited all the staff for an early meal, so Rey was able to spend her last evening in relaxed company, feeling like she belonged for the first time in a long time.

After dinner with Maz, Rey went back to her room, and jumped straight into the shower. She wasn't sure where this evening was going to end, but standing in the hot water soothed her nerves and helped her calm her racing mind. She took her time, washing her hair, shaving her legs, and then pulled on the red dress from her first day here - smiling to herself at the irony of her outfit - and what a terrible impressions they'd made on each other when they'd met that first day by the pool.

Around 9pm, she heard the door below her shut, a clear signal that Kylo was back, and she waited another thirty minutes before heading down to his room and tentatively knocking on his door.

He opened it immediately and pulled her through the doorway, arms wrapping around her and hitching her up until she was pressed tightly against him, her feet dangling inches above the floor, and he was kissing her, lips sliding along hers, then to her ear lobe, her neck, pausing for a moment to press a couple of gentle bites along the bundle of nerves there, and then back to her mouth. His hands slid down to her butt so that he could press her closer against his body, and he used the pressure of his lips to open hers, tongue reaching inside to claim hers, and she could hear him moan in what sounded like relief.

Her body went from nervous to turned on in what felt like seconds, and by the time he pulled away, she was panting too, arousal thrumming through her like a drug.

"What took you so long?" he grumbled, half smiling, as he let her slowly slip down his body back to the ground, seemingly enjoying every moment of her slide, and the touch of their skin as they moved, "And how could you torment me more by wearing that dress?"

He was pulling her towards a large sofa that dominated the middle of the room as he spoke.

"That dress you wore the first time we met," he continued, "I saw you and wanted to take it off you immediately..." he sat down, pulling her onto his lap, "you looked so beautiful, like an angry angel sent to torment me," he paused for a moment to kiss her again, and then continued, "I could see your nipples through that fucking top. I so wanted to taste them." and then pulled back enough to see her face.

"Can I now?" he asked, his eyes were so dark they looked black, his hair falling into his eyes, lips wet from their kisses.

Rey nodded, and he reached over with his huge hands, that for some reason she found turned her on in a perplexing way, sliding his fingers under the tiny straps, and slowly pulling down the dress, over her breasts, until it bunched around her waist, and she was bare to his touch. He stroked her slowly, letting his fingers glide over her skin, under each breast, until eventually he cupped them gently, and leaning down, pressed his hot mouth to her skin, sucking her nipple between his lips and gently teasing it with his teeth.

The throb in her cunt was instant, the shock of it making her sit up a little, and Kylo must have known immediately what had happened, because he released her breast, his hand sliding under the waistband of her dress straight to where she needed him, over her clit and right to the crotch of her panties where she knew she was soaked with desire.

Like before, he waited for the nod of her head, and then his fingers slipped under the material, finding the warmth, gliding through the liquid, brushing her bundle of nerve endings, until she was clenching desperately on nothingness.

It was the final straw of her decision - she knew at that moment that she wanted to fuck him, wanted to feel everything he had to show her - and she didn't want to wait any longer.

"Can we go to your bedroom?" she asked and didn't wait for his reply, but pulled his hand free, and then kicked off her dress, until she was just in her panties, facing him on the sofa.

Kylo stood up, simultaneously pulling his t-shirt over his head, then his belt and jeans, until he too was just in his briefs. Rey grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the open bedroom door and into the semi-darkness beyond.

When they reached the bed, Ben swept the ridiculous mounds of pillows to the floor so he could sit on the edge, and pulled her back towards him, until she could feel the familiar heat of his body.

"These. Off," he commanded, but he was smiling, taking his time to run his fingers down her frame then he hooked his fingers under the edge of her white panties and pulled them slowly down her thighs until they came loose and sank to the floor. His mouth found hers again, pulling her in closer until the peaks of her breasts were pressed against his chest, and then his hand was back between her legs, moving down to where she burned, fingers slipping through her folds to stroke and tease and explore her, circling her clit with sublime pressure.

"Do you want to cum now?" he asked, increasing the pressure as if seeking an answer.

Rey shook her head. She could feel her courage ebbing and flowing as if it was at war with her desire. Half of her wanted nothing more than to cum, and cum again, and the other was nervous about what came next, fucking him, taking him inside her body, wondering about whether that would be wonderful or a disappointment.

"Your turn. Off." she ordered instead, pulling down his briefs exactly like he'd done to her, releasing his cock, which sprang free as if it had a mind of its own. Its size was beyond intimidating, but she didn't let herself think about it, instead stroking him slowly as he gasped in pleasure, and said "I want to be on top."

He nodded and reached over to the drawer beside his bed, and pulled out a condom, sheathing himself inside quickly, then lying back on the bed, watching her with those glittering eyes, as if he couldn't get enough of the sight of her.

She watched as he used his hand to grasp the base of his cock, pulling her forward a little to correct the angle, then waiting patiently for her to proceed.

He must be expecting her to carry on, she thought, and she wanted to, wanted to feel him inside her.

She traced between her legs, finding his cock, grabbing the tip, too hard by his sharp intake of breath, and then ran her fingers between her own legs, where she was relieved to feel she was still wet and silky from when he'd been touching her earlier. She held him, gently, and using her instincts, pressed the head of his cock into her tight entrance, willing it to work, and felt a wave of relief when she felt the unmistakable painful stretch of him breaching her, feeling the warmth of his flesh through the condom.

From there, she paused. She felt Ben straining beneath her.

"Rey," he whispered, and when she ignored him, a little louder, "Rey, Rey, is everything all right?"

The thought flashed into her head that she must look ridiculous, crouching above him, fingers pressing against his chest, not moving, just the head of his cock inside her, panting with exertion, too nervous to keep going, but not courageous enough to explain why.

"Yep. Great." she said, her tone ridiculously clipped, like an old schoolmarm, "Just give me a minute will you?"

He smiled reassuringly, "Take your time. I'm enjoying the view." She could tell he was trying to sound casual, but a quick glance at the tension in his arms as they clasped her hips gave him away.

Her thighs were burning with the strain of staying locked above him, and it was enough of an incentive for her to try and move further on his cock, so she took a deep breath, willing her body to relax, pulled one hand from his chest to stoke her clit, finding that spot that ignited her desire immediately.

It worked, and she felt herself getting wet again, the warmth of desire spreading through her pelvis as it had before. It helped to just look at him, to let herself take her fill of this beautiful man, lying beneath her, all tense muscles, his superb but intimidatingly huge cock slowly splitting her open. She slid a little further, and he moved his hand at the base to help.

"You feel incredible" he sighed, his voice pleading, "All the way now sweetheart..."

But she knew it was impossible and found herself saying "I think that's enough for now." in a ridiculously matter-of-fact way, before tilting herself forward and raising up on her protesting thighs, until she could feel his cock slowly pull free.

Before he could speak, she lent forward, until her body was lying over his, and kissed him, catching whatever he was about to say in her mouth. Her hand moved down his body, finding him still rock hard inside the condom, and she grasped the head with her shaking fingers, stroking him quickly, almost frantic, until he came with an agonized groan.

They lay like that for a few moments, until Rey noticed him watching her, his expression intense in the darkness. She knew he was about to ask what was going on and that thought galvanized her into action.

"Right, I'd better go." she announced, springing from the bed, "Got to pack", and she started searching for her clothes in the semi-darkness, ignoring Kylo's shocked exclamation behind her.

"Why are you leaving?" he asked and from the corner of her eye she saw him pull the condom free, and struggle to get up from the bed, "and what do you mean you're packing?"

He was standing next to her, naked, as she scrambled with her clothes, and as she tried to pull her dress over her head, Kylo grabbed it from her hands.

"What the hell is going on?" he exclaimed, sounding more confused than angry, "Talk to me Rey."

She pulled the material from his grip and threw it over her head, ignoring the fact that her underwear was nowhere to be seen.

"My plane back to London leaves in a few hours and I need to get ready," she explained as he stared at her in confusion.

"And you're telling me now?"

"Yep."

"For fucks sake Rey," he nearly shouted, and even though the room was dark, Rey could see the exasperation and bewilderment on his face, "You can't just come here and sleep with me, and then leave like that."

"Of course I can. I thought that's what we were doing." she was barely holding it together, desperate to get out of his room and back to her own so she could cry her eyes out in peace, "We've done what you said - fucked it out of our system."

"That wasn't anywhere close to fucking something out of our system," he growled, pulling her into his arms, nibbling her neck with a pressure that was just below painful "Nowhere near Rey."

"Well, that's all we get," she responded, pulling away from him with a jerk and stumbling into the living room. She grabbed her room key, fumbling in her haste.

He'd followed her, and he was standing in front of the door, as if he was going to stop her from leaving.

They stood in there in the darkness, and she saw him think better of it, realizing that he couldn't try and keep her in his room, and with a hollow expression on his face, he finally stepped back and let her go.


	10. Chapter 10

Rey wasn't sure how long she cried for, but her alarm woke her at four am, and she was still curled up in a ball, fully dressed, on top of her bed. Fortunately, she had barely anything to pack - just her rucksack and a few of the items of clothes Maz had insisted she keep - so it only took a matter of minutes. When BB knocked on the door a short while later, she was already waiting.

He took one look at her and gave her a warm hug.

"Barbados gets under your skin doesn't it?" he said comfortingly, "but I know you'll be back to stay with us again. You're part of the family now."

They had become family - BB, Mary, Chef, and along with Maz and Phasma, she felt she'd made friends for life.

She hadn't included Kylo in that list - he was much too difficult to classify. Certainly, over the last few days she'd seen him in a very different light. She'd started thinking about him all the time, wondering what he was doing, what thoughts were going through his head, wanting to know more about this man and his life.

It wasn't impossible that if they'd met under different circumstances they might well have been friends.

And after last night, they were technically 'lovers' although she wondered if that unsuccessful fumble really counted.

She felt a strange mix of desire and confusion when she thought about those minutes spent with him.

She'd wished she'd been less of a coward, had the guts to tell him the truth, about herself, her sexual inexperience, and what she wanted. Before she went to his room, there'd been some sort of Hallmark movie running through her head, that somehow they'd jump into bed together, instantly figure everything out, and she'd have a night of incredible passion.

The reality was different though, and it would have required a lot more honesty and patience on her side for the fantasy to have happened.

Rey wanted to blame Kylo, but she knew in her heart that the fault lay at her own door. There was something about the way he was with her, the respect he showed, that convinced her that had she given him the chance, he would have been everything she needed.

But it was pointless to think of him at all because she was sure she'd never hear from him again.

Maz met them outside the main entrance to say goodbye, and that opened the floodgates again for Rey, so she spent the remaining short trip to the airport bawling her eyes out, trying to reassure BB that she was fine really, just tired and overemotional.

The rest of the trip went without event, and so she found herself landing in the familiar grey skies of London some fourteen hours later, with a heavy heart.

.................................................

When she finally made it through Customs and was waiting for the Tube, she turned her phone back on and it immediately started pinging, each message coming through with a different timestamp.

05.15 KYLO: Rey can we talk?

06.32 KYLO: Rey we need to talk

09.18 KYLO: Rey I've no idea what happened last night or why you left

10.11 KYLO: Call me

She felt her breathing speed up, hitching in surprise.

He was texting her. Repeatedly.

The next one came through in real-time.

21.15 KYLO: I've worked out you must be in London now I'll call you at 10 pm your time

As the tube rattled through the grimy evening, she read the messages again through slowly, scrolling through them to take in every word, trying to make sense of her own emotions, until she arrived in Hackney and walked the short ten minutes back to the flat she shared with Rose above the Betting Shop.

Her friend was there to greet her, pulling her into a fierce hug as soon as she walked through the door

"I'm so glad you're back," Rose clasped her tightly, "I've missed you, and Finn and Poe have been nightmares without you to keep them in line."

She held Rey at arm's length to take her fill.

"You look amazing. I hate you." she said laughing, "Really though, you seem so much healthier and rested. I'm so glad."

Rose hefted the rucksack up, and led Rey into the tiny kitchen where she could smell pasta cooking. There was a bottle of cheap red wine open on the table.

"I told the boys I wanted you to myself tonight, so it's just us two," she explained, giving Rey another quick hug before leading her to the table, "But we've arranged to meet at the pub tomorrow to celebrate your return."

Rey was ravenous after the terrible airplane food, so ate the pasta with gusto while Rose peppered her with questions about The Retreat, and Maz, and Barbados, insisting on a blow by blow account of the whole ten days.

She was happy to oblige, telling her all the stories about BB and Phasma and the rest of the people she'd met, with the glaring exception of Kylo. She had no idea how to even start to describe him, or their encounters, and so decided to just breeze past him for now.

She'd almost forgotten about his final text, so jumped in shock when her phone rang, and his name appeared on the screen.

It was closest to Rose, so she picked it up, before curiously looking at the screen.

"Who's Kylo?" she asked, handing it over to Rey.

Rey felt herself going bright red, which made Rose raise her eyebrows in suspicion, and weighed up whether to answer or not. She had no idea what on earth to say to him.

Finally, she succumbed.

"Hi" was all she could think of and was taken aback by his immediate answer

"Rey - are you ok?"

"Hi, yes."

"Why did you leave last night and not tell me you were going home?"

"I did tell you."

"Not until the end." she could hear the confusion in his voice, "You sprung that on me - we didn't even have time to talk."

"I thought that was what you wanted? A short term thing. That's what you said."

He didn't reply for a moment, as if he was thinking over what to say next. 

"There's a difference between a short-term thing and leaving in the middle of fucking."

"Is that what you're bothered about? Not getting to fuck me more?"

She tried to ignore Rose's sharp intake of breath next to her at the words.

"No." she could tell she'd offended him, the tone of his voice went cold, "I hope you know me at least a bit better than that. I meant before we had a chance to talk about things. For fucks sake Rey, you literally ran away."

She couldn't deny it. He sounded genuinely hurt, and it pricked her conscience a little.

"I know, I'm sorry. I thought it was for the best. We're never going to see each other again and so...."

He interrupted her.

"I'm coming to London. Tomorrow. I want to see you."

"What? Why?" she sounded like an idiot and glanced over to Rose who was watching her with the intensity of a thousand suns.

"If you'd have stayed more than a few minutes, I was going to suggest it in Barbados." he sounded pissed off, "But you left while my dick was still wet from you."

She blushed bright red at that, an immediate flash-back to their encounter playing in technicolor in her mind.

"You want to see me?" she repeated, "Why would you want to do that?"

That seemed to annoy him even more - she heard him swear quietly down the phone, but he took a deep breath and replied calmly

"Rey. Just say you'll meet me tomorrow."

She thought about her plans with Finn and Poe

"I can't - I'm going to the pub with some friends."

"Fine, I'll meet you there. Text me the address and time." and he hung up as if making sure she didn't change her mind.

When she put the phone down on the table, she looked up at Rose, who was staring at her, incredulous.

"Ok. Spill."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, bit of a short transitional chapter. Will post the next one in a day or so.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally finds out who Kylo really is!

They had been at the King's Head for an hour when Rey finally spotted Kylo, making his way through the crowded room of the pub, skirting round the unlit edges of the room to avoid the crush of people near the bar. She felt her stomach swoop immediately, a mixture of anticipation, pleasure and fear. It was wonderful to see him again, and just the sight of his tall, broad body made her thighs clench, but there was also anxiety because of the conversation they needed to have - she had no idea what his feelings were, and away from the cocoon of the Caribbean, and back in the loud reality of London, real life was going to make her seem very ordinary indeed.

He's ordinary too, she reminded herself, but watching him prowl across the room, so tall and confident and intense, wearing the same black clothes he always wore, his dark hair falling across his face, the shadow of stubble across his jaw, he looked anything but unremarkable.

Finally he spotted her, and Rey watched with relief as he smiled, the quirk of his lips a familiar reminder of all that they'd shared together. He arrived seconds later, standing behind her as if not sure what to do. Acting on instinct, she stood up quickly and pulled him into a hug, which he returned with a fierce pressure that left her breathless.

After a long moment where they both relaxed into each other's arms, Rey felt the gaze of her friends on them both, and pulled away to introduce him.

As she turned, all three were staring at her, eyes wide, mouths open and in particular Finn and Poe, both looked like they'd been poleaxed. She knew she'd never brought a man to meet them, but they were behaving as if she'd grown another head.

She tried to keep the irritation from her voice as she introduced them all.

"Rose, meet Ky...."

"Ben" he interrupted, reaching across the table to shake her hand, "Great to meet you."

Rey looked at him, processing the revelation of his real name - it suited him - he seemed much more like a Ben than a Kylo now that she'd got to know him - and she gave him a smile of acknowledgment.

"And these two are Finn and Poe," she added.

"Amazing to meet you," Poe said, and he was grinning like a fool, so much so that Rey wanted to punch him in the arm to stop him embarrassing her. Finn was the same, shaking Ben's hand slowly, and looking him up and down as if he was an alien, wiggling his eyebrows at Poe in the most obvious fashion. Any second now he was going to say something stupid about finally Rey having a boyfriend, or even worse, teasing her about sex.

"Enough you two." she snapped, motioning for Ben to take a seat next to her and Finn, "Behave yourselves please." She hoped against hope that they took her seriously, and it seemed to work, they calmed down a little and made space at the table without complaint.

Rose immediately stood up, pulling Rey with her. 

"We're going to get the next round in." she said abruptly, "The usual?" she cocked her head at Finn and Poe who nodded, and then turned to Ben,

"And for you Ben?"

"I don't drink, anymore," he said quietly, and a thought flitted through Rey's mind that she could finally know a bit more about this enigmatic man now that the rules of the Retreat were behind them, "But I'd kill for a strong black coffee."

Ben started rummaging around in his pocket for his wallet, but Rose shook her head, and immediately fixed him with her 'don't mess with me' stare when he looked like he might protest. 

They pushed their way through the heaving bar, Rose dragging Rey like a small child, until they were standing in the queue for drinks.

"Why did I have to come with you?" she grumbled, "Ben's only just got here and I haven't even spoken to him yet. We've got loads to figure out."

Rose ignored the question, and instead jumped in with one of her own.

"What do you know about this bloke again Rey?" she asked, leaning towards her to be heard over the music, her voice curious.

Rey shrugged her shoulders, "Only the stuff I mentioned before. He's an American, works in Finance maybe, or accountancy, from Ohio wherever that is."

Rose looked a little confused, squinting her nose in thought.

"What's wrong?" Rey asked, face falling, "You've barely met him! Give him a chance, please. He can be a bit gruff, but when you get to know him, he's ok."

"It's not that." Rose corrected, "I'm sure I will, and I can totally see why you jumped his bones," she smiled at that thought, "It's something else. I'm sure I recognize him from somewhere. His face is familiar, and he's got that air about him of someone not like the rest of us."

Rey laughed at that, "Don't be ridiculous, he's a regular guy, he's just a bit unique looking, and being so tall, and ripped, and good..."

Rose gave her a little shove, "Spare me the details," she laughed, "I'm just saying I thought he looked familiar, like really familiar. But if you're sure he's an ordinary bloke, enough said."

When they reached the front of the queue, they ordered the drinks, ignoring the daggers the barman threw at them for their coffee request and eventually made their way back through the crowd to the table.

They found Finn, Poe, and Ben deep in conversation about music and they were animatedly discussing the First Order, a band both her friends loved. Rey was a little astonished at the looks of interest and admiration her two friends were directing at Ben, and felt an odd clench in her heart that they were getting on so well with him, despite having only met minutes ago.

Ben looked up to see her, and immediately stood, grabbing the drinks from her and Rose's hands and pulling out her stool so she could sit down.

"I'm glad you're back," he said, pulling the edge of her stool closer with a possessiveness that reminded her immediately of how he'd been in bed, how he'd treated her as if she was his, his hands all over her like he couldn't get enough.

He placed his hand on her knee, thumb pressing gently into her bare flesh as if to remind her of his touch,

"I've missed you Rey. A lot. I didn't like it when you were gone or how you left." he spoke quietly into her ear, as if his words were for her alone, "I can't stop thinking about you."

His other hand had made its way to her hip, and his fingers were flexing and stroking as if trying to burrow their way under her t-shirt until they found her skin. He was watching her, his eyes flicking over her face as if remembering every part of her, and she could feel herself blushing under his gaze, lost for words.

Then her neck started prickling when she realized that Rose, Finn, and Poe had all stopped speaking and were staring at them both. It woke Rey from her trance, and she tried to think of something to say to break their focus.

"So, what do you think of a traditional London Pub? It's been on this site for two hundred and fifty years." she gabbled, cringing inside at her artificial brightness, sounding just like a bad tour guide.

Ben pulled away a little as if sensing she needed to redirect the conversation, and he quietly pulled his hand out from under her top where it had been resting against his waist, although he left the hand on her knee.

"I love it. Never been to this part of London before so this is new to me," he answered, and she wondered whether he was grinning like that because of her obvious discomfort.

"So you've been to London before?" Rose jumped in, sensing the need to help Rey out

"Yes, I was born here."

Rose raised her eyebrows. "Wow, that's unusual. How come?"

Ben was about to answer when Finn replied for him.

"His mother was US Ambassador to the UK." he said, sounding like an eager kid who knew the answer to a quiz question, "He lived here for six years."

Rey shot him a look of surprise. They must have made fast work on their introductions earlier. She tried not to feel out of sorts that she seemed to know less and less about him as time went on.

Ben turned towards her as if sensing her discomfort and quickly changed the subject.

"I can't stay long tonight," he explained, glancing around the bar as if looking for something, "so I was hoping you might be free tomorrow for lunch so we can talk. I've got a break before I need to do a soundcheck at three."

As he spoke, Rey noticed a huge hulking man in black, bald head and blank expression, arrive and stand a few feet from their table. Ben acknowledged his presence with a small nod. There was something about what he'd just said that was confusing her, but before she could ask, he continued.

"I'm sorry, I've got to go. I enjoyed meeting you all." and standing up, shook Finn and Poe's hands, and gave Rose a light kiss on the cheek.

Turning to Rey, he hesitated for a moment, and then pulled her into his arms, hand slipping behind her neck to pull her into his embrace, and then he was kissing her, his lips warm on hers, a light sweep across her mouth, before letting her go.

He pulled a card from his wallet and handed it to her.

"Here's my address. I'd really need to see you if you're free tomorrow. Say 12 pm?"

Rey paused, more and more confused by how the evening had unfolded, staring at the card he'd given her and trying to make sense of the words printed there.

"I can send a car if you like," he offered, filling in the silence, "Or I can meet you somewhere closer to your place."

"Please Rey."

Finally, his words sunk in, so she nodded, and he gave her the most enormous smile as if he was relieved at her answer, and then he was gone.

..........................................................................

"Shots!" Poe announced, and he and Finn immediately left the table, heading off to the bar.

Rose barely waited for them to leave.

"Fuck me!" she exclaimed, waving her hand in front of her face like a pretend fan, "He's so hot. You're so hot together. The way he looks at you, the way he can't keep his hands off you." she was gabbling now, "And something is going on with Finn and Poe. And who was that guy that arrived to take Ben home? He looked like he could kill us all with his bare hands."

She paused for breath, and concluded, "Ben's definitely not an accountant Rey. Are you sure that's what he said?"

Rey thought again about the circumstances, about BB telling her about the man by the pool.

"He never said that." she explained, as if to herself, "but that's what I was told. We weren't supposed to share our stories at the Retreat so I never asked him what he did for a living."

Rose contemplated her answer and was about to continue when Finn arrived, much quicker now the bar was slowly emptying, clutching five shot glasses.

"One for each of us, and two for you Rey."

"Why two?" Rey protested, "You know I can't take my drink."

Poe slipped into his seat.

"Trust us. Ok, let's do a shot. One, two, three..." and he slammed the small glass of tequila down on the table, waited for the others to join in, and then threw back his head and drank it all at once.

Rey wasn't much of a drinker, so she spluttered a bit at the sharp taste, but managed to finish the glass.

"What was that for anyway?" she asked

"That, darling Rey, was in honor of you being the only person on the planet who wasn't able to recognize Ben Solo."

"Ben Solo!" Rose shouted out, "Of course. I would have got there eventually you know." and Finn high-fived her in congratulations, both laughing in joy.

"Ok, everyone. Just stop right now." Rey huffed angrily, "Can someone explain what is going on. And what's the big deal about Ben Solo."

Poe rolled his eyes at her, sliding the second glass towards her hand.

"Ben Solo is the founder of The First Order - one of the biggest bands in the world, and a personal favorite of mine."

"Ok, fine, but what's that got to do with my Ben?"

Finn took her hand, "Your Ben is Ben Solo, Rey dear," he explained, "You've been fucking a megastar. Congratulations!" and he motioned for her to drink up.

"Of course I haven't," she protested as she raised the second glass to her mouth, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You're way off Finn."

Poe pulled a bottle of water out of his pocket and handed it over.

"Drink some of this - we need you sober enough to get all the gory details Rey, so take a sip."

........................................

Rey woke with a better head than she deserved - Rose had taken pity on her and insisted that they walk back to the flat after only one more drink, and had tucked Rey into bed with the promise that they talk more in the morning, so she had her best friend to thank that she wasn't feeling much, much worse.

She threw on some old leggings and a t-shirt and wandered into their tiny combined kitchen and living room to find Rose brewing some fresh coffee, thumbing through her phone.

"Morning," she greeted her, handing over a steaming coffee, "How are you doing?"

"Ok I think," Rey joined her at the ratty old table, "Not too hungover at all."

Rose gave her a kind smile, "Good because unfortunately there's some stuff I need to show you and I thought we should get it out of the way."

Rey felt her stomach flip with nerves, but she made herself continue.

"What is it?"

"So, I was just looking online, seeing what news there was about Ben Solo and the First Order, and honestly checking him out to make sure he really was who Finn and Poe said."

"And is he?" Rey demanded.

"Yep. 100%. That is him all right. And now that I've seen some photos, I can't believe it took me so long to recognize him."

She handed over her phone to Rey, and there was Ben in a photo, labeled 'The Grammys', standing on stage with a guitar, unmistakably him. She flipped to the next one, and there he was with a group of three others, and standing at the front was Zara from the Retreat.

Not Zara of course - she read the caption - 'The First Order, with lead singer Bazine Natal, won two awards last night...."

She felt the knot in her stomach tighten.

"Ok, well I guess that's pretty conclusive." she agreed, handing back the phone.

Rose looked nervous, and then said, "Sorry Rey, but there's more. You should see this." and handed it back.

On the screen in front of her was an image of her and Ben. They were standing together in the ocean, the waves up to their knees, and Rey saw with horror that she was wearing her old training bra, her nipples totally visible through the worn fabric, and a pair of white panties that similarly left little to the imagination when wet. Ben was next to her, holding her in the waves, his hair wet and plastered against his face.

There was a caption below that read, "Ben Solo, reclusive founder of The First Order, finds holiday romance in Barbados. No details as yet on the identity of his mystery partner." and then more photos, each as bad as the last, including one that showed most of her arse, when her underwear had ridden up to display much more than she'd ever intended.

Rey's stomach hit the floor.

"I'm so sorry." Rose gave her a hug, "It's disgusting that they can publish photos like this without your permission. I can't believe he didn't look after you better."

Rey thought back to that morning, when they'd gone for a run, and how angry he'd been at the beach when he spotted people watching them.

"I think he did try," she said slowly, "I just never understood it at the time. I had no idea at all Rose, about any of it. I can't believe I've been so blind."

"Well, don't give it another thought. I had to look quite hard for these online - I never saw them at the time, so I'm sure most people we know missed them. Even Finn and Poe didn't see them, and they're fans."

The coffee was still hot, but Rey took a big gulp, welcoming the almost burning sensation in her mouth, which distracted her a little from the pain in her chest.

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked Rose, "I think I've really messed up. I've let myself fall in l..." she corrected herself quickly, "get involved with someone I don't know at all."

"Meet him for lunch." Rose instructed, "You've got nothing to lose."

.......................


End file.
